No, It was My Fault for Loving You

Chapter 77

Chapter 77 : The Boy with the Sky-blue Hair

— “I hate girls like you. Natalia” —

Her slightly moist eyes narrowed sharply.

The girl who, just yesterday, had laughed at each other and said they were friends, raised her verbal knife.

No, no. Nina.

I didn’t break that.

There was no way such words could reach her straight away.

A small bud of friendship, which had only existed for about two months, was easily trampled.

Ah, there it is again.

Why always?

Why do they always hate me?

She questioned herself in front of the mirror while crying, but the reflection in front of her didn’t give her an answer.

We can get along better this time.

I’m sure of that with this girl.

Every time I think that, I am immediately confronted with reality and eventually come to realize it.

You don’t have to get close to them.

Just say hello and talk to them once in a while.

If you don’t build a relationship that will break, then you don’t have to cry either.

Not knowing what or who was causing such a thing, Natalia had no choice but to protect her heart that way.

— “Natalia. It was the others’ job to make you cry directly, and mine to make you laugh.

All you had to do was cry and laugh along with it.”—

No way.

It was you, Alejandro.

You.

You, for everything you’ve done.

“…ahh…”

When she woke up, Natalia’s bangs were sticking to her forehead with sweat.

Looking up, she saw the grey ceiling that she’s become quite accustomed to seeing recently.

This is a room in the staff dormitory that Natalia is renting.

Natalia got up on her bed and slowly caught her breath.

“…I was starting to dream about it less and less these days…”

The colors seen through the curtains are still dim.

It was just before dawn.

Brushing back her sticky bangs, Natalia exhaled deeply.

Her body was exhausted from daily labour, and was still craving sleep, but she didn’t feel like sleeping when she lay down again.

The day Alejandro kidnapped Natalia and took her to his hideout in the woods.

That day. Natalia learned about everything that had been happening around her, which she did not know about, all those years before.

Why do all her important things disappear?

Why all the people she thought were her friends left her.

What Alejandro saw through Natalia.

The crime that Natalia committed during the time that had disappeared.

And even why Natalia should not be tied to Leopold.

When she was kidnapped to his hideout in the woods and told about events before time went back.

Alejandro said that even then, after drugging Natalia, he intended to bring her there.

He said he wanted to prevent her from signing the marriage contract and become Leopoldo’s future wife while she was still unable to make a decision.

— “Before that, though, you ran off to Beatrice’s room” —

Alejandro laughed at her, while she tilted her head, not understanding why he was so obsessed with herself.

But if, as Alejandro said, this moment was a second chance and a start over.

When asked what should be done first, only one answer came to her mind.

Alejandro’s unusual obsession, the cause of the plight of the Marquise of Reinalpha, how Natalia became jealous of Beatrice, and how Beatrice ended up losing her life in the first place.

It’s Natalia’s love for Leopold.

But for Natalia, it was nothing but hope.

With a father who sees her only as a useful pawn, a mother who only responds opportunistically, and an innocent young brother who knows nothing and relies on his older sister.

As she lives out the days ahead, doing household chores alongside her maid, she still has to smile and laugh.

She passed the days by telling herself that she had a prince and that she would be all right.

It was this thought that allowed her to get through it.

But I can’t dream anymore. I can’t go back to those arms.

That’s why, at that time, I couldn’t make the choice to stay in the hideout and wait for rescue, so I went after Alejandro.

I wanted to fall together with him.

And yet.

—“I won’t let you die too…”—

The person in question said these words while standing on the railing and watching the water flow.

Alejandro quickly pushed Natalia to safety.

Then, on his own, he slowly leans himself off the railing.

Natalia decided to jump over the railing, kicking it as hard as she could and diving for Alejandro’s chest as he slowly fell.

She didn’t listen even if she was told no.

Because.

I didn’t feel like I could hang on anymore.

I just wanted to be relieved already.

It is much more painful to live.

I didn’t want them to tell me to live in such a world where my very existence is a sin.

But Alejandro is still Alejandro, even in times like that.

His hands embrace Natalia tightly.

His body covered Natalia.

Important, very importantly.

He held her tightly.

And so they fell.

As a result, Natalia was not seriously injured except for a dislocated right shoulder, but Alejandro was unconscious for two weeks.

When he finally regained consciousness later, he had lost all memory of his life after the age of six.

“Milch.”

Alejandro, who saved Natalia’s life, began to call her his sister Milch.

He happily, nostalgically, and a little wistfully mentions the name of his sister, whom everyone had believed and doubted had been killed by Alejandro.

After losing his memory, Alejandro began to laugh with an expression Natalia had never seen before.

Whenever Natalia sees the soft expression on his face, as if he is happy, she feels a pain as if her heart is being squeezed.

Because Natalia knows that she is not the one to whom this smile was directed to.

Because of this, she finally realised that he had been pursuing his sister figure in her since they met.

She felt as if she had lost everything, yet she still did not want to go back to that house if she could.

She doesn’t see herself having a future with Leopold, but if she had a choice, she would not want to be made to be someone’s second wife just for money.

Is it extravagance? Is it selfishness? She thinks so, but still, she can’t help it.

So she nodded her head, holding on to a glimmer of hope at Leopold’s suggestion that she could at least choose her own path ahead.

She rented a room in the hospital’s staff living space and began helping out and attending the school every day. And just like that, four months had already passed.

The use of the aid money from the Marquise of Reinalpha has been decided and their wishes for the future have been conveyed.

The procedure for expulsion from the Viscount Olsen family has been completed, and the official notification will be sent out next week.

Then she will officially become a commoner.

Her position at the school will become even more tenuous, but she will graduate in about two months, so there won’t be much trouble.

No, I don’t care even if it happens.

I’m used to it.

Thoughts go round and round in her head, yet her body subconsciously takes out the sheets one by one, which have been washed, and hangs them on the overhanging rope.

She looked down and saw her fingertips, she could see that the wounds in her fingers healed considerably thanks to the cream Beatrice had given her.

I wish I could thank you.

Yeah, but.

I don’t think I’ll ever get that chance.

Natalia looks distant for a moment.

…yes, I know.

I must also give a proper reply to Nicholas-sama.

He said it to me like that, but I’m still me after all.

I am already guilty just for living, and I feel so bad for him.

While thinking about this, she already took the last sheets out of the basket.

Then there was a small hand hugging Natalia’s back.

“Sister… I found you…”