Chapter 61: True or False

heliotraipse26-33 minutes 11.06.2023

The gaze from those eyes startled Fang Li, and for a moment, it seemed as if some terrifying presence had glanced at him……

But when he’d blinked again, Shixiong’s gaze was as gentle as always.

As if everything had been his misperception.

Fang Li thought that he must have been waiting here for too long and had seen incorrectly.

Shixiong gazed at him gently, saying in a slow, hoarse voice, “A’Yan……”

“It’s me.” The corners of Fang Li’s eyes reddened, and he threw his arms around Shixiong’s waist tightly, his voice choked with tears. “You’re finally awake.”

Shixiong still looked the same as always, a smile in his eyes. He sighed helplessly, “I’m fine…… But if you keep squeezing me, I won’t be able to breathe.”

At this, Fang Li’s tears finally turned into laughter, and he let go.

…………………

Because of this incident, Fang Li changed a lot.

He no longer thought about wandering around all day. Every day, he would properly stay inside the sect and whole-heartedly study cultivation.

He didn’t want to make Shixiong worry about him ever again, he didn’t want Shixiong to get injured and faint like this again, nor did he want to be incapable of even a bit of self-preservation the next time he encountered danger……

Seeing how drastically Fang Li had changed, his master couldn’t even bear to scold him. His master also instructed Fang Li not to mention the fact that he’d been to the Great Sage’s remnants to anyone. Fang Li agreed without reservation.

Shixiong came to the rear mountains on this day.

Seeing the youth whose head would start hurting whenever he looked at a book and who would try to wriggle out of practice as soon as he started now constantly holding books in his arms when he wasn’t whole-heartedly cultivating, Shixiong’s heart ached for him, and he said a bit helplessly, “A’Yan, you don’t want to go out and play?”

Fang Li’s eyes lit up as soon as he saw Shixiong, but they immediately dimmed again. “I don’t.”

Shixiong couldn’t bear to see him like this. He smiled faintly, “Shixiong is about to go down the mountain to buy supplies. Will you come with Shixiong?”

Fang Li actually wanted very much to go, but he hesitated for a moment and still said, “I won’t go. Shixiong, you go ahead on your own.”

Shixiong let out a sigh and pulled Fang Li up by the hand, saying mildly, “Even when cultivating, you have to strike a balance between work and rest. Don’t cultivate any more today.”

Fang Li stared blankly as he was led by Shixiong by the hand outside.

The melting warmth of Shixiong’s palm seeped into him, as if he didn’t need to be afraid of anything at all as long as he was holding Shixiong’s hand…… Even in such a desperate moment, Shixiong had been able to find him. Shixiong would always be by his side……

Although he hadn’t said anything during this period of time, the self-reproach in his heart had never ceased, so he’d put his all into cultivating……

But Shixiong seemed to have seen through his guilt, so he’d taken the initiative to bring him down the mountain to cheer him up.

Sure enough, Shixiong was the best person in the whole world.

They went to the nearby Mountainview City.

Mountainview City was where Cinnabar Gate was located, and its unrivaled prosperity was dazzling to the eyes. Fang Li walked amongst the crowd, and his spirits were lifted somewhat. Previously, he’d liked nothing more than to come here, but he would be lucky to get to come even twice a year.

Shixiong first went to go buy some goods. Seeing that it was getting late, he took Fang Li to eat and drink to lift his spirits.

They sat inside a teahouse.

Shixiong sat there calmly and gracefully, leisurely sipping his tea, a faint smile on his elegant and gentle face. He was absent-mindedly watching the people coming and going downstairs……

Fang Li was happily eating his cake, the cake crumbs sticking to the corners of his mouth. When he suddenly turned his head, that was the scene that he saw.

Although Shixiong had always been gentle and carefree before, at this moment, as he sat there looking down at the masses, he suddenly gave off an aura of being lofty and aloof, someone who couldn’t be gazed at directly, and Fang Li couldn’t help but hold his breath.

Perhaps because he’d sensed Fang Li’s gaze, Shixiong turned his head back and smiled at him. “A’Yan, what are you looking at?”

Fang Li coughed, nearly choking. After a while, he said in a soft voice, “Shixiong is so good-looking.”

A nearly indiscernible trace of laughter appeared in Shixiong’s eyes, and he looked at Fang Li tenderly, his voice low and hoarse as if coming from far, far away. “A’Yan is very good-looking, too.”

Fang Li’s face suddenly turned red.

Although Shixiong was still the same Shixiong as before, he also seemed to have gone through some kind of teeny, tiny, indescribable change, and every casual sentence from him would make Fang Li’s heart race uncontrollably.

They returned to the Windbearer Sect.

The days passed as peacefully as always.

As always, Shixiong accompanied him to study and practice his sword.

On this day, Fang Li was reading the Spirit Beast Records. When Shixiong came over and saw, his gaze flitted past the book in Fang Li’s hands, and he smiled. “A’Yan, you’re reading the Spirit Beast Records?”

He nodded.

Shixiong sat down beside him, and in the slight breeze under the overhanging vines, the white-robed man’s inclined face was gentle, his voice soft and soothing as he told the story of the Cloud-Swallowing Beast and the secret of the blood spirit fetus.

Fang Li listened attentively.

Although Shixiong had always been knowledgeable and learned, Fang Li hadn’t thought he would know so much, even the things that weren’t written in the Great Sage’s books. The admiration in his heart grew endlessly, and he couldn’t help but sneak a peek at Shixiong’s face.

In his heart, Shixiong was perfect and flawless, he was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen.

Shixiong was so beautiful, no matter how he looked, he wouldn’t get tired.

Shixiong found that Fang Li’s attention was wandering and let out a helpless sigh, patting his head as he said, “Do you want to listen or not?”

Fang Li nodded vigorously. “I do, I do, I do.”

Shixiong’s voice was so nice to listen to. He could listen to it for a whole day, he could listen to it forever and ever, anything was fine!

Shixiong’s black eyes seemed to be full of pampering. The corners of his lips lifted, and he flipped open the book again. After finishing his story of the Cloud-Swallowing Beast, he then told him the story of the Golden Beast. With his descriptions, the simple book turned into vivid and life-like stories that were much more interesting than the dry text, and Fang Li became absorbed in listening, as if he himself were present in those strange and colorful worlds.

……………………

Fang Li’s talent wasn’t bad to start with, it was just that he hadn’t applied himself previously. Now that he was focused on cultivating, his cultivation improved visibly in leaps and bounds.

On this day, he was practicing the sword by himself in the rear mountains.

Shixiong walked over, took a look, and nodded with a smile. “You’ve progressed quite a bit. I’ll practice with you for a while.”

Fang Li was overjoyed.

But he recalled that the last time Shixiong had practiced the sword with him, his spiritual sword had suddenly gone berserk and had injured Shixiong’s hand, so he promptly hesitated.

Speaking of which, ever since coming out of the Great Sage’s remnants last time, his spiritual sword had fallen silent once again. No matter how he called, it wouldn’t pay attention to him, so it probably wouldn’t cause trouble again, right? But Fang Li’s only fear was that his sword would hurt Shixiong, so he still lowered his head and instructed the darksteel sword in a small voice, “You better be good this time, you mustn’t cause trouble again.”

Shixiong watched him speaking earnestly to the darksteel sword and couldn’t help but laugh, saying, “Don’t worry, it can’t hurt me.”

Fang Li thought, that was true.

Shixiong was so powerful. That time, he had only been caught off guard, or else even with ten of himself, he wouldn’t be able to injure Shixiong!

At this thought, Fang Li relaxed and started to practice the sword with Shixiong.

In the bamboo forest.

The white-robed man and the youth practiced back and forth, their silhouettes fluttering like swans taking flight. Bamboo leaves fell, rustling, and the green bamboo sword in the man’s hand sliced past at a slant, the edge of the blade brushing lightly past Fang Li’s side. Then, he smiled and said, “Do you know how to dodge next time?”

He was very patient.

Although Fang Li’s sword techniques were still a bit unpracticed, the man didn’t mind at all, nor did he ever scold or criticize him. When Fang Li practiced well, he would tell him that he’d done a good job. When Fang Li practiced poorly, he would tell him to try again.

Gradually, Fang Li also got a feel for things, and his movements became more and more smooth, chasing after the white-robed man’s silhouette through the bamboo forest.

And the thing that he had been worried about never happened. From start to finish, the darksteel sword remained quiet in his hand, never going berserk again.

Fang Li struck at the white-robed man with his sword. He put too much strength into his blow and nearly tumbled to the ground. The white-robed man turned and dodged, then scooped the youth up with one hand. A quiet laugh and a soft sigh sounded from above the youth’s head. “Let’s stop here today, you’re tired as well.”

Fang Li was hauled up by the waist with one hand. His face reddened slightly, then he took a deep breath and stood up obediently.

………………

Time passed by in a flash.

Fang Li stayed in the sect day after day, with Shixiong to accompany him each day. These days were lovely and peaceful, and in the blink of an eye, it was the Spring Festival again.

All of the Windbearer Sect’s disciples were orphans who had been picked up by their master. They didn’t have anywhere else to go; this was their home. The whole mountain was decorated for the new year, and everyone set up long tables in the courtyard to eat together. Fang Li also went over to the kitchens to help out and became terribly busy.

When Shixiong arrived, he saw that Fang Li had gotten himself covered in dirt and ashes and couldn’t stop himself from laughing helplessly. Shixiong helped wipe the dust off of his face and smiled, “Really, you.”

Fang Li laughed impishly and brought over the rice balls he’d made, looking at Shixiong with expectation. “Shixiong, try it.”

Shixiong picked one up and ate it, smiling tenderly. “What A’Yan made is very delicious.”

Hearing this, Fang Li was delighted.

It was New Year’s, after all. Everyone should be together.1

That night, everyone sat around the long tables, bonfires flickering around them. Master stood up to drink with everyone. His white whiskers shook, and he said in his elderly voice, “May we have today, may we have the present, year after year.”

That’s right.

How great would it be to stay like this?

Fang Li sat by Shixiong’s side. The darksteel sword was placed against the table. As he ate, he lowered his head to glance at his sword.

This sword was becoming more and more quiet. He remembered that at the beginning, it’d had such an irritable temper and would start making a fuss at the slightest thing, but ever since coming out of the remnants, it hadn’t made a single sound. Even during New Year’s, it wasn’t responding to him at all. This sword wasn’t throwing a tantrum at him, was it?

But he hadn’t done anything?

Other than scolding it once when it’d injured Shixiong, he obviously treated it very well. Besides, injuring Shixiong was its own fault in the first place.

Besides, even if it was angry at him, was it necessary to be angry for this long?

Fang Li sighed with puzzlement. He touched his sword and said, “It’s a new year. You also have to be well, okay?”

At night, after everyone had eaten, they returned.

Fang Li stayed behind a bit.

He quietly tugged the corner of Shixiong’s clothes, blinking at Shixiong and saying mysteriously, “Shixiong, I have something to give you.”

Shixiong looked at him a little helplessly but still went with him.

Fang Li arrived at the empty back mountains and dug under a tree, digging out a jar of wine. He smiled brilliantly, saying, “This is bamboo leaf wine that I buried last year. Drinking it this year will be perfect.”

This was wine that he’d brewed himself!

Although his fellow sect brothers and sisters were all very good, there wasn’t much of this wine. He only wanted to share it with Shixiong.

Shixiong fixed his eyes on him, then suddenly lifted the corners of his mouth, sitting down on the ground. He said with a leisurely laugh, “Then Shixiong won’t stand on ceremony. Let’s see how A’Yan’s wine tastes.”

Fang Li took out two bowls and first poured a bowl for Shixiong.

Shixiong lifted the bowl and took a sip. Under the night sky, his features looked even more gentle, and his voice was low and hoarse. “It’s very good.”

Having received praise, Fang Li was delighted and poured a bowl for himself as well.

The two of them drank the wine within the moonlit bamboo forest.

He gradually became a little drunk. Gazing at the white-robed man beside him, he felt a little dizzy, and his cheeks were flushed. He simply laid down on Shixiong’s knees and said, hiccuping, “Shixiong, it really is great that you’re fine……”

He still blamed himself for what had happened before.

Shixiong looked at him and lifted a hand, resting it on the youth’s back, softly comforting him over and over with a smile. “I’m fine.”

Shixiong paused, then said slowly, “Shixiong also has a present for A’Yan.”

Fang Li lifted his head. “Huh?”

A talisman made of bamboo appeared in Shixiong’s fingertips. It was carved with ancient characters that Fang Li couldn’t understand. Shixiong placed the talisman in the youth’s hands and said mildly, “This is a protective talisman. It will ensure you a smooth and peaceful life.”

Fang Li’s eyes immediately widened.

A protective talisman that Shixiong had made himself!

Fang Li carefully put it away as if handling a precious treasure, overjoyed beyond belief. Sure enough, Shixiong was the best person in the whole world!

He threw his arms around Shixiong’s waist. “A’Yan likes Shixiong the best.”

Shixiong’s eyes were murky and deep under the night sky, seemingly a little different from usual. But in the blink of an eye, they became gentle and easygoing as always. His eyes were fixed on the smiling youth in his arms, and after a moment of silence, he slowly opened his mouth. “Shixiong likes A’Yan, too.”

…………………

Fang Li had drunk a little too much last night and didn’t remember how he’d returned. Shixiong had probably sent him back.

He rubbed his eyes and saw the darksteel sword to one side.

Thank goodness, he hadn’t lost his lifebound sword.

Carrying the sword on his back, he went to look for Shixiong, but Shixiong wasn’t in his room. Fang Li went down the path to ask his other sect brothers and sisters, who said that they seemed to have seen Eldest Shixiong head toward where Master was.

Fang Li headed toward Master’s.

As soon as reached the door, he could vaguely hear the sound of arguing and couldn’t help but pause. He didn’t rush to open the door.

Master’s elderly voice was low and heavy as he said, “Such an evil thing shouldn’t appear in the world.”

Shixiong’s voice was bland. “This is no more than an object. It’s people who are divided into good and evil. The importance is in how it’s used, isn’t that so?”

Master continued to refuse. “The Windbearer Sect is just a small sect. Such a priceless treasure…… To us, it’s a disaster, not a blessing. Let us speak of this no more.”

Shixiong seemed a bit regretful and let out a soft sigh, saying, “Master, please think about it again.”

Having said that, he opened the door to leave.

As soon as he exited, he saw Fang Li standing by the door and was a bit startled. Then he smiled and asked, “A’Yan, why are you here?”

Fang Li asked worriedly, “Shixiong, are you alright?”

Shixiong stroked his head, a smile appearing in his gentle eyes. “What could be wrong with Shixiong? No need to worry, these things have nothing to do with you.”

As soon as he heard this, Fang Li stopped thinking about it. He didn’t understand these things anyways. If Shixiong said nothing was wrong, then nothing was wrong. He smiled and said, “Shixiong, are we still practicing the sword today?”

Shixiong smiled and nodded. “Alright.”

A few more days passed.

Cinnabar Gate’s Gate Master Chong Wanshan came to visit.

Cinnabar Gate was one of the five great sects, and everything within ten thousand li of Helan province was Cinnabar Gate’s territory. Chong Wanshan was an expert of great renown in the cultivation world, yet he had always been close friends with their master.

He would often come to play go with Master.

Fang Li had seen Chong Wanshan many times already and thought nothing of it. Chong Wanshan would occasionally smile and nod when he saw him and didn’t look like someone who put on airs.

He saw Master bring Chong Wanshan to his room. The two of them sampled tea and played go, and Chong Wanshan had even brought New Year’s presents. Master said that there was no need to be so polite, but Chong Wanshan said, if not for your help back then, I wouldn’t see today.

As soon as these words were said, Master still accepted the gift.

Chong Wanshan stayed for an afternoon this time. Seeing that the sky was darkening, he got up and bid farewell. Shixiong sent Chong Wanshan off in Master’s place.

Fang Li slowly sat down on the edge of the roof, a piece of fieldgrass in his mouth. Pillowing his head in his arms, he went to sleep.

…………………

Time flew by.

He thought things could go on like this forever.

Up until one night.

A clamor arose from the quiet mountaintop.

Fang Li sensed that something was wrong and immediately hopped out of bed to look for Shixiong. Shixiong was looking for him too, his expression anxious and uneasy. Shixiong said, “Master told us to come.”

Fang Li followed Shixiong to where their master was.

Shixiong seemed to have aged a great deal in an instant. His expression was sorrowful, and looked at the two of them with a complicated expression. He sighed and said, “This day has finally come in the end. Only, I never thought, I never thought it would be him……”’

Their master didn’t say any more. He took out the black and white jade talismans, giving the white one to Shixiong and the black one to Fang Li, saying, “The two of you must split up and take these jade talismans away. Remember, you absolutely mustn’t let these talismans fall into the hands of those with wicked intentions.”

Having said that, he turned and had them leave, leave at once.

Fang Li realized that something was wrong and still wanted to ask Master what was going on, but Shixiong was already pulling him away. Shixiong’s expression was stern, and he said, “You run toward the back, I’ll run toward the front. Remember, be careful not to be found.”

Fang Li wanted to be together with Shixiong, he didn’t want to separate. But he remembered Master’s words. Right now, he could only agree with tears in his eyes, asking, “Then after we escape, how should I find you?”

Shixiong was silent for a moment, saying, “If Shixiong is still alive, I’ll go find you.”

There wasn’t much time, and Fang Li didn’t dare delay. He kept this sentence firmly in his mind, then turned and dashed in the direction of the rear mountains.

He ran and ran, looking back for a moment.

The Windbearer Sect that was usually as peaceful and serene as an otherworldly paradise had already sunk into a sea of blazing flames. Their master was personally holding Chong Wanshan back, engaging in a fierce battle with him that split the earth and shook the heavens, but he was killed under Chong Wanshan’s sword. Fang Li couldn’t understand why things had become like this.

Weren’t they very close friends? How could they have turned against each other so ruthlessly like this?

He couldn’t understand.

He only knew that he had to escape, but his cultivation was still too low. Even though he’d tried so hard during this period of time, tried so hard…… But compared to the experts of Cinnabar Gate, he was still incomparably weak. Of the Cinnabar Gate cultivators who followed Chong Wanshan, even the weakest had a cultivation level of at least Nascent Soul.

Fang Li was very quickly chased down.

He thought he was about to die and closed his eyes in despair, but at the critical moment, a white-robed figure stood in front of him. He stared in a daze at the person in front of him.

Shixiong was blocking that Nascent Soul cultivator, looking back at him to say, “Quickly, run.”

Shixiong clearly could have left, yet he’d returned just to save him. He didn’t want to leave Shixiong behind alone, but he couldn’t let Shixiong’s intentions go to waste. Right now, delaying for a second longer would send both of them to their deaths. Only if he ran would Shixiong be able to quickly escape, so he turned and ran forward with all his might.

With all his might, he ran and ran……

When he reached the rear mountains, there was actually another Cinnabar Gate cultivator standing guard there, blocking the path. He raised the darksteel sword and charged, his eyes red and bloodshot, rushing forward without faltering. Right now, he had no path of retreat. He’d thought his opponent’s sword would pierce through his chest, but in that split second, a green light suddenly erupted from his body, thoroughly shattering his opponent’s sword!

Fang Li was dazed. The bamboo talisman by his chest shattered.

It was the protective talisman Shixiong had given him.

Shixiong had saved him again.

He rolled to dodge that person and tumbled down the cliff.

His opponent was still giving chase.

His entire body was covered in wounds, and his leg had also been broken in the fall. He dragged his broken leg to hide below the cliff. Luckily, he was very familiar with this area after coming here countless times, and he quickly found a mountain cave to hide in. The people from Cinnabar Gate searched the area over and over but still weren’t able to find any trace of him.

He curled up in the darkness of the cave.

The only things he had beside him were his darksteel sword and the black jade talisman.

He gripped the black jade talisman in his hands tightly, using so much strength that the sound of cracking could be heard from his hands, and fresh blood trickled down between his fingers…… Even if Master hadn’t said a word, even if Shixiong had never blamed him, he knew that everything was his fault.

He was the one who’d brought the black jade talisman back from the Great Sage’s remnants.

He was the one who’d brought back this disaster.

Master had died because of him.

Everyone in the sect had died because of him.

Yet he, the person who deserved to die the most, had survived.

He let out a low laugh.

An acrid liquid trickled down the side of his face and into his mouth.

He didn’t know whether the people from Cinnabar Gate had left. He didn’t dare to go outside at all, remaining inside the cave the whole time. When he was thirsty, he would drink the muddy water on the ground, and when he was hungry, he would eat the mice that scampered inside, but he couldn’t go outside.

He couldn’t let himself be found.

He’d already made so many mistakes. He absolutely had to accomplish this task. Even if he died, he couldn’t let Cinnabar Gate—obtain the black jade talisman.

This was, the only thing he could do……

He hugged the darksteel sword in his hands, murmuring in a low voice, “You haven’t paid attention to me in such a long time. If I die, you should find another owner.”

He said, “I’m just too useless.”

Because he hadn’t attended to the wounds on his body, they had started to rot and smell. He might die here just like this. He buried the black jade talisman in the dirt, hoping that he wouldn’t be found after he died……

Only, what about Shixiong?

Had Shixiong escaped from danger?

Shixiong had said that as long as he was alive, he would come find him, but he hadn’t come in all this time. Was he dead……

It was all his fault, if only he hadn’t gone chasing after that wolf that day, it was all his fault, his fault……

He sat there blearily, despair rising like the tide, thoroughly drowning him bit by bit.

He was waiting for death to arrive.

Perhaps if he died, he wouldn’t be in so much pain anymore.

In the midst of his daze, a white figure covered in blood appeared before his eyes.

The white-robed man pushed aside the weeds at the entrance of the cave and reached out his hand, his eyes tender, his expression worried. “I’ve found you.”

Fang Li stared blankly at the person before him. There were no words to describe his feelings in that moment. His body was trembling, his eyes fixed squarely on the person in front of him.

Shixiong was covered in blood, but thank goodness, Shixiong wasn’t dead, Shixiong was still alive. Sure enough, he’d come to find him……

He’d just known that Shixiong would definitely find him.

Every time he was in despair, about to give up, Shixiong would always appear before his eyes.

He finally reached out slowly, grabbing hold of the white-robed man’s hand. The white-robed man looked at him full of affection, then creased his brow, saying, “Your foot is injured.”

He’d broken his foot while escaping, and it hadn’t been treated in all these days, becoming so painful that he’d long lost sensation in it. Shixiong sighed and lifted him onto his back, saying in a heavy voice, “I’ll take you away from here.”

He leaned against Shixiong’s back, feeling Shixiong’s warmth.

They’d escaped Cinnabar Gate, right?

But……

Only he and Shixiong were left……

His arms were wrapped tightly around the white-robed man’s neck, as if afraid that the scene before his eyes was a mirage that was about to disappear……

A strong sense of unrealness arose in his chest.

This scene was clearly what he’d longed for……

He’d hoped that Shixiong could survive and find him, and now, Shixiong had survived and found him. This was the most extravagant hope in the deepest recesses of his heart, it was the scenario that he’d fantasized about over and over again, and now it was really happening. Yet why did his heart feel empty, as if he was stepping on empty air?

He closed his eyes.

The scene of Shixiong being stabbed through the heart with a sword flashed past his eyes.

He opened his eyes.

It was Shixiong carrying him through the peaceful mountain forest.

Just which one was real?

Fang Li’s forehead started to throb faintly with pain, and the darksteel sword began to tremor without rest again, as if clamoring in his mind.

It seemed like there was something wrong somewhere, making him feel that things were strange, but he couldn’t remember right now. The mountain road was uneven, and the white-robed man carried him along it step by step……

Suddenly, he heard Shixiong ask him a single sentence: “A’Yan, where did you hide the black jade talisman?”

…………………

1 Rice balls (tangyuan) sounds like reunion (tuanyuan), which is one of the reasons why they’re a traditional New Year’s food (Lunar New Year’s, which is celebrated in early spring)