Universe’s Most Famous Vinegar Goddess

Chapter Title: ‹ Intimacy plan ›

Xiao Fengyu was already beyond saving.

The experience that Xiao Fengyu went through that day was recounted in detail to Su Min right after she got back to their dormitory. Her best friend clutched her arm, staggering: “Yuan Bao, I did not know. You are quite capable ah.”

Xiao Fengyu was feeling breathless, “What?”

Now, Su Min is still in the mood to joke with her?

Su Min: “Good at courting death ah.”

Xiao Fengyu: ……

This girl…… can this girl still be considered her friend?!!!

“Actually━” Su Min rubbed her chin: “You don’t have to be too pessimistic about this, isn’t there’s this saying about having two sides to everything[1]? I think that this may be even singable━ it goes like━”

Fengyu slapped her butt, “Get out of here!”

Mischievously smiling, Su Min left to take a bath.

Xiao Fengyu was literally in tears, she thought about it for a long time before taking out her mobile phone to send a message to her life-saving sister Yuan Yu.

━Sister Yu, help! Can you help me be pulled out from 《 Teens Go! 》???

For the sake of having a good life in the next few months, Xiao Fengyu held her phone while waiting nervously for ten minutes. With a ding! signifying that the message came, she hurriedly opened it but the content almost made her cough blood[2].

━Tell me first, who was that woman that was like a little white rabbit yesterday?

OMG!!! This was unexpected!

She did not expect that a scene from a dog blood drama[3] would actually happen to her??? Xixi had just recently proffered a pinch of her hair[4] to Fengyu…..

Isn’t this the typical she(LXX) loves her(XFY) but she(XFY) doesn’t love her(LXX). She(YY) has a close relationship with her(XFY), she(YY) makes her(LXX) fall into embarrassment and passivity, then it would come t the point that she(LXX) would hesitate and struggle between her(XFY) and her(YY) classic type of script?!

Feng Yu rested her hand on her chest, why should Yuan Yu put pressure on her to mature?

Without waiting for a response, Yuan Yu, who was chewing a gum, turned her neck on the side to dial the phone: “Hey, Amy, yes, it’s me, help me check someone, well, it’s important to check her relationship experience.”

Lin Xixi didn’t know that she was being investigated.

The next day early in the morning,

Lin Xixi timidly went to the company office to seek out her teacher.

He Yunhan was already working. Lin Xixi’s teacher can be seen to be holding a document in her hand, her complexion looked much better even if she only put on a light makeup.

It was picturesque.

The morning sunlight sprinkled in, with layers of light covering He Yunhan, even her hair seemed to carry a noble and gorgeous temperament.

He Yun Han lifted her head: "You’re here? Come in.”

Lin Xixi walked in with her heart hanging on her mouth. She had already thought about it. All of these things happened because of her decision. Yesterday, she was quite thoughtless and rashly asked Yuan Bao to send her teacher back. Everything that happened afterwards… No matter what, she had to shoulder the responsibility. Lin Xixi couldn’t let her teacher have an ill opinion on Yuan Bao due to the events before, “Teacher, yesterday, Fengyu……”

Before He Yunhan could respond, the phone rang. She looked at it and accepted the call.

It was Yuan Yu.

Yuan Yu heartily greeted: "Miss He, good morning.”

He Yunhan looked at her watch: “It’s not early anymore.”

Yuan Yu: ……

It’s a mouthful of ice enough for a person to feel chilly.

Why is it that there are a lot of people but that little brat, Yuan Bao, had to offend this person?

Sheng Huang and Qin Yi once cooperated before so the two persons know each other; with this in mind, Yuan Yu estimated that with her identity and status, He Yunhan would give her face even if she was not happy.

Yuan Yu simply said what he wanted, “Haha, that’s the way it is. Anyway, the company has prepared another schedule for our artist, Yuan Bao, so she would have to be pulled out of the program. I will find a suitable person to make up for you later.”

He Yunhan was silent for a moment, and then questioned lightly: "Don’t tell me that she is scared because of what she did yesterday and dare not to come?”

Yuan Yu：……

Lin Xixi：……

Fuck???

Yuan Yu opened her mouth but before she could speak, He Yun Han blocked whatever she might have said with one sentence: “Vice President Yuan, you will not be naive as to beg me to entertain someone’s request just because she’s throwing a small tantrum, right?”

Yuan Yu: …………

Half-lying and half-telling the truth, He Yunhan picked up a pen on the side: “I’ll leave it at that, you don’t have to worry too much. By the way, ask her for me, won’t you? What brand was yesterday’s chocolate? Its taste was not bad.

There was a clack, and the phone was hung up.

Yuan Yu was holding the phone and couldn’t close her mouth like an idiot. Xiao Fengyu, who had been eavesdropping on the side, looked even paler: "She…… she’s going to get me over and execute Lingchi[5]……”

Yuan Yu calmed down, she patted Feng Yu on the shoulder: “Well, there, there kid.”

Xiao Fengyu looked up at her tearfully, then Yuan Yu spoke earnestly: "Think about it, you’re going to die all the same, do you still need to care about what method it is going to be? Forget about that, now tell me about that little white rabbit.”

Xiao Fengyu: ……

Ahhhhh!!!

This big stupid sister who forgets her relatives when she sees a potential object of affection!!!

Unlike the boisterous situation of the two sisters over here,

In the office of Sheng Huang,

He Yunhan glanced at Lin Xixi, who was standing next to her like a pillar, and frowned: “What, are you here for her too?”

Lin Xixi didn’t dare to lie in front of her teacher, “Yes.” She whispered: “Teacher, Yun Bao didn’t mean to harm you. She was just compassionate but sometimes, even with good intentions, it does not mean it always goes well-received.”

He Yunhan put down the pen, leaned back and looked at her: “Do you know her well?”

She was sharp.

Lin Xixi bit her lip, her face flushed.

He Yunhan stared at her student for a while and sighed: “Okay, don’t put your focus on others, take care of your own business as well.”

What does that mean?

Lin Xixi looked up at He Yunhan, who frowned: “What’s the situation with you and Yuan Yu?” She received news early in the morning that Yuan Yu had accessed Lin Xixi’s personal file. The company would not care so much about a newcomer, who has not emerged yet, let alone a vice president of the headquarter for no reason

Lin Xixi had a question mark on his forehead.

Seeing her student’s sincere befuddlement, He Yunhan waved her hand to dismiss her: “Nevermind, you can go now.”

So simple, is she a person who’s going to eat without leaving the scum?[6]

Lin Xixi walked out of the office in a daze.

She really didn’t understand what her Teacher meant.

She only saw Yuan Yu for the first time yesterday. The whole journey was normal, and she didn’t find anything unusual. Why did her teacher suddenly ask such a question?

In the end, one is too young and does not know the taste of sorrow.

When the next two days arrived, Lin Xixi and Xiang Fengyu were no longer as entangled as before. The training venues were close together so He Yunhan often caught them leaving the office with cheerful smiles, Xiao Fengyu’s were especially brilliant.

Half a month later, the pre-shooting of 《 Teens Go! 》" started as scheduled.

With the intention of having something to show the audience for an opportunity to create a topic that would help set the atmosphere and increase the heat of its preliminary publicity, Director K specially arranged the University auditions in the early stage of the show. Due to students being highly cooperative, auditions alone attracted a thousand people.

There was a total of four places for trainees, and Xiao Fengyu and Lin Xixi only took up two, and Su Min’s activities were almost inseparable, which meant that only one of the one thousand people would earn the last place.

The next day came,

Just looking at her face, the teacher’s head was about to swell. He Yunhan is the chief tutor. She doesn’t talk much, but she habitually has a cold face, which puts a lot of pressure on the auditionees.

Whether it be dancing, singing, acting, musical instruments, or martial arts ……

Everyone did their best to perform with all their might.

Noon break,

The crew turned off the cameras and gave the mentors a rest period.

Away from camera,

Everyone relaxed a lot, a few male mentors on one side took out cigarettes and began to puff, He Yunhan got up and left.

Since the rest time is very short, the food is also very simple.

What He Yunhan got was a boxed lunch. She had no appetite at all, so she opened the window in the corridor to get some air, but suddenly, she heard a familiar voice.

In the classroom next to it,

Xiao Fengyu and Lin Xixi sat side by side, eating and chatting very happily.

Lin Xixi said: “Hey, Yuanbao, I actually feel a little uncomfortable in my heart. Have you noticed? Among the people selected for the audition just now, there are many extraordinarily talented people.”

Xiao Fengyu took a bite of the tofu: “I know how you feel, and I think so too, and many of them are junior brothers and sisters. Hey, we are too far behind, if it weren’t for… really by ability, many things are not easy to say.”

Lin Xi sighed, “Well, I have to practice hard when I go back. I heard that when the audition is over, we will join the crew soon.”

Xiao Fengyu was taken aback: “So fast?”

Lin Xixi explained: “Yes, I heard that Director K is very strict. She wanted us to enter first, and then get along without a script for a while. One is to get acquainted with the players and mentors, and the other is to look at our personal characteristics so that we can set up a persona.”

It’s quite common to establish a persona in a variety show.

Xiao Fengyu nodded.

Lin Xixi: “The attention is remarkably high this time. My agent said that we might become a hit.”

Soon after she said it, Lin Xixi swallowed nervously; Xiao Fengyu felt it, so she smiled and patted the former’s shoulder: "Don’t think too much and don’t be nervous. A lot of things, hard work, the rest just let it be, alright?

He Yunhan outside the door was a little surprised by these remarks, it really doesn’t look like it was said by such a heartless person.

Xiao Fengyu intentionally changed the topic: "I heard that the mentors would prepare a gift for their own students, haha, this is one of the most anticipated things at the moment, right?”

Xiao Fengyu deliberately changed the subject: “I heard that when I look back, the mentor will prepare a gift for the trainees he brought. Haha, this is the most anticipated thing at the moment, right? ”

Lin Xixi could not care less about the gift; she lowered her head: “I can’t help but be nervous; now everyone knows who my teacher is; even if it’s not for myself, for her I have to fight.”

Xiao Fengyu: “Little girl, don’t be so heavy hearted, it’s nothing, a few months will pass in a blink of an eye.”

Lin Xixi looked up at her: “Are you really not nervous at all? What if you don’t perform well?”

Xiao Fengyu smiled and said, “If I don’t play well, I’ll go back to my hometown. In fact, Xi Xi, you may not believe it. I have never liked the atmosphere here. I thought that if I could go back one day, I might simply open a small restaurant with a table on it. If I want to perform, I will go up and show my hands. Rest when I am tired.”

Lin Xixi was amused, “You sure know how to cheer me up. If you do not like it, why did you join this industry in the first place?”

A wind blew by, blowing away Xiao Fengyu’s bangs, she half squinted her eyes, faintly: “To make ends meet.”

The two were used to joking.

Lin Xixi thought Xiao Fengyu was playing around, “No, when I get back, I still have to study under Miss He.“

Xiao Fengyu sighed: "Look at you, a mouthful of teacher long and a mouthful of teacher short, are you not afraid of her?”

Afraid?

Lin Xixi thought about it, “I seem to be a little, but, Yuan Bao, do not you think my teacher is actually not as strong and indifferent as it appears? She is very gentle.”

Xiao Fengyu quickly shook her head: “I don’t feel it. I’m scared every time we meet. I haven’t been afraid of anyone since I was a child. She is one. I now hope that the gods will protect me and let us have less contact later. Don’t assign me to her group. In case there is an intimacy plan in the program to eliminate alienation and estrangement between the mentors and trainee, like having an intimacy plan to eat, clothe, live, and travel together? If the mentor is your teacher, then I can just kill myself.”

Lin Xixi smiled helplessly: “This mouth of yours ah. ”

The wind has picked up.

The gossip between the two was blown away.

He Yunhan stood quietly for a while, then she picked up her phone and dialed it.

Director K unexpectedly received her call: “What’s the matter, Yunhan? Didn’t you take a break for a while? ”

He Yunhan was someone he hired after a lot of effort, so he was treating her like an ancestor.

He Yunhan: “About the show, I suddenly have an idea that I want to share with you.”

Director K was excited, “You have an idea? Then don’t be polite, it’s a good thing! Tell me now.”

Through the window, He Yunhan looked at Xiao Fengyu who was eating and said, “I think, in order to enhance the relationship between mentors and trainees and eliminate alienation and estrangement, it is necessary to add an intimacy plan to allow trainees and mentors to eat, clothe and live together.”

Director K: “Hey, you are suddenly so motivated, is there a trainee you like? Is it your apprentice?”

He Yunhan: “No.”

Director K was stunned: “No?”

He Yunhan said objectively: “If it is Xixi, she will inevitably be labeled as a back door.”

Director K: “It makes sense, so who do you like?”

The wind ruffled He Yunhan’s long hair, “Xiao Fengyu.”

Director K assured her: “Yuan Bao? No problem!”

The other side hung up.

She thought about Xiao Fengyu’s phrase ━━If the mentor is your teacher, then I can just kill myself.

He Yunhan called Nana, “Nana, I’ve thought of what to give the trainee for the meet and greet.”

Nana, who was having a headache over this matter, was stunned for a moment: “Huh?”

What’s wrong with Yun Han? She actually cares about such trivial things?

Through the window, He Yun Han eyed Xiao Feng Yu who was patting her already full stomach in the room, “Go prepare a sword for me, make sure it’s sharp.”

Don’t you want to kill yourself?

I’ll be kind and help you.

To avoid confusion, the association between Lin Xixi and He Yunhan is a teacher-student relationship while the program will use labels as mentor-trainee relationship.

Chapter notes with 1% Accuracy

[1] Xué bù dōu zài jiǎng shìwù de liǎngmiànxìng ma━ “Isn’t it all about the two sides of things?” Similar to Marxist philosophy about the duality of things. Reference to Lao Tzu’s Classic of the Way and Virtue(c36) says that all affairs have both positive and negative sides. It was written as a self-encouragement towards himself as well as a warning to be vigilant because things could be reversed in time.

[2] Yīkǒu xuè chàdiǎn pēn dàole ━ There’s a Chinese saying that when a person sees or experience something that greatly stimulated or agitated them too much, their nose or mouth will squirt blood; nowadays, people use this slang to indicate that there is something irritating, unbelievable, or audacious happening in front of them.

[3] Diànshìjù shàng gǒu xuè de ━dog blood drama is an internet slang used to label plots that are often being recycled, imitated and exaggerated into another TV series. The term first came in early 1990s due to Hong Kong and Taiwanese films that drives evil spirits away using the blood of a dog; therefore, dog blood is used to ridicule immutable, predictable, clichéd, old-fashioned, unrealistic scripts. Netizens now use this to refer to vicious plots that had been used too much to the point that it is very familiar as if it’s their palm.

[4] Tóufǎ sī bān de ài yì ━ “Hair-like love” :silly face: A couple would each take a bundle of their hair and combine it to literally form a knot in Ancient China before being deemed married. In the contemporary times, when a girl sends you a lock of her hair, she values you, loves you, or has an interest in you. Lin Xixi did not literally gifted Fengyu her hair, but she did hint that she likes her so.

[5] língchí ━ “death by a thousand of cuts” is a form of torture and execution used in China by the means of using 3,357 blades and the 3,357th blade must be a stab to the person’s death to succeed. In simple terms, a slow torment and painful death.

[6] Huítóu hái bùdé ràng rén chī de zhā dōu bù shèng ━A person so simple that he’s still happily staying with another who calculates against him. It was similar to you already got sold by someone you trust but there you are, still helping count the money. A second part of this idiom means something similar: “If you know that a person has a bottom line, you will chew carefully but if one does not know the bottom line of the other, it was like swallowing a jujube in Han Shanlun.”