Unspeakable

Wishful thinking was a shortcoming Shen Kanyu was born with, which spiraled out of control after he met Gu Yansheng.

The first time they met was when both of them were in junior high. Shen Kanyu was a delinquent and Gu Yansheng was an honor student.

On that day, Shen Kanyu saw delinquents in an upper-year level blackmailing Gu Yansheng for his pocket money in an alleyway. Although he was clearly frightened to the extent that his face paled and he broke out in cold sweat, he maintained a blank, chilly expression as he took out and gave his money to them without saying a word.

Shen Kanyu jumped down from the next roof, knocked down one of the delinquents with a kick, then pulled Gu Yansheng along and ran.

The two of them ran into a field of canola flowers. Young Master Gu, who usually didn’t work out, was so exhausted he fell to his knees.

“Thank you…” Gu Yansheng panted for air.

Shen Kanyu helped him up, then offered him a handful of canola flowers he had plucked. “You’re really good-looking, I like you.”

Gu Yansheng gasped for breath while wiping his sweat, throwing him a look like he was looking at a lunatic.

Shen Kanyu looked at his charming Phoenix eyes and continued to present the flowers with a smile on his face. “Little gege1, I like you. What’s your name?”
[T/N: 1Older brother – can be used as an address for older males]

Gu Yansheng frowned and shifted back. “…I’m not gay, I don’t like you.”

“Oh, okay~” Shen Kanyu wasn’t in the least bit upset. He felt particularly happy looking at Gu Yansheng’s face. “Then you should accept my flowers ah, only then would you be a sensible child.”

Gu Yansheng shot a glance at the canola flowers in his hand. “The farmer planted this flower to extract oil from it; you using it as a gift would be ruining the crop and wasting food. Sensible children wouldn’t do this.”

Shen Kanyu blinked while looking at him. Numerous tiny stars ran around inside those glistening eyes.

Gu Yansheng felt extremely uneasy being looked at in this manner. “Don’t look at me like that.”

Shen Kanyu smiled. Under the sun, the plump lower eyelids at the base of his eyes were cute and sparkled like a high-quality beeswax stone. “Little gege is such a good person, I like you even more now. I’ll listen to you and not waste food.”

Once he finished, Shen Kanyu stuffed the canola flowers into his mouth and chewed.

“You…” Gu Yansheng wore an incredulous expression as he reached out to grab the flowers in his hand. “What are you doing! How can you eat without thinking ah, don’t eat that anymore!”

Shen Kanyu dodged him a couple of times, quickly chewed and swallowed all the canola flowers he had picked, then threw his hands up in the air. “Finished!”

Gu Yansheng looked at him dumbstruck. Then he hastened to get up from the ground. “You’re so weird…crazy.”

Shen Kanyu’s eyes were still curved into a smile. He got up and eagerly followed him, “Little gege, I know you’re a good person but you can’t just stupidly let others keep on bullying you. But you can rest assured from now on, I like you so I’ll protect you!”

Gu Yansheng didn’t want to turn around to face him, he only wanted to hurry home. “Stop going on and on about liking me, it’s really strange!”

“Where’s your home? I’ll send you back. You won’t be bullied by others anymore!”

“Nothing to do with you.”

“It does, I like you. My heart will ache if you get hurt.”

“Enough already!!”

Shen Kanyu somewhat limped as he walked; he must’ve accidentally sprained his foot just now, yet he could still quite relaxedly follow after Gu Yansheng’s steps, and continue harassing him by his ears without stopping.

Gu Yansheng felt that this person simply couldn’t be reasoned with. He was like a midsummer buzzing cicada that couldn’t be driven away.

Fortunately, he arrived at the public transport station very soon. Without turning back, Gu Yansheng squeezed onto the bus back home, not wanting to take another look at Shen Kanyu.

Shen Kanyu watched the bus drive off. When he turned around, that radiant smile on his face instantly vanished without a trace. He looked at the delinquents hiding behind a corner, his eyes full of unbridled ruthlessness. “You guys better head back and spread the news to not touch him. Otherwise, I really will knock your heads off.”

“We were wrong Kan-ge2!” Those delinquents kept on bowing before they bolted.
[T/N: 2Brother Kan; used for respect here]

On this desolate winding road, it was a place for a great number of delinquents to brawl, rob, and rape. For the local tyrant Shen Kanyu to strut down the entire part of this road with Gu Yansheng, it was clearly announcing to all the delinquents that Gu Yansheng was a person who couldn’t be bullied, and whoever did bully him would be offending Kan-ge himself.

For a young man in his second year of junior high, it was truly such a wonderful and memorable experience to protect his beloved with his own abilities for the first time ever.

Shen Kanyu bought a bottle of coke, happily drinking it while thinking: ‘Who knew there’ll be such benefits from being a good fighter. Man, I’m just too awesome.’

After he downed most of the bottle of soda, Shen Kanyu was so refreshed he couldn’t help stupidly shouting to the skies, “Ah! I really like little gege!”

Gu Yansheng, who was on the bus, sneezed and nearly bumped against the back of the person in front of him.

***

From then on, the school tyrant Shen Kanyu turned into a little lackey following Gu Yansheng which made his henchmen distressed and bitter. They urged him one after another, “Kan-ge, you can’t be blinded by love like this! This will dull your skills, and even the great land you conquered will fall to ruins!”

Shen Kanyu’s response to this was to beat them up: “My skills are dull?”

The henchmen with bloody noses and battered faces: No! You’re3 not dull!
[T/N: 3Honorable you]

Shen Kanyu smiled warmly as he stroked their heads. Then he led them to make a round of the school, intimidating everyone one after another to give way to them.

Shen Kanyu found a bench, sat down on it, then crossed his legs. “Whose land is this?”

The henchmen cried bitter tears: It’s Kan-ge’s! It’ll always be Kan-ge’s!

At this moment, Gu Yansheng walked passed on the school path. Shen Kanyu immediately yelled ‘little gege’ and eagerly flew over, fawning over him as he followed closely behind him. With the speed of a hurricane, he had transformed from a big bad wolf to a little puppy.

The henchmen looked at one another, lost for words as tears welled up in their eyes.

***

Shen Kanyu chased after Gu Yansheng’s back for many years. Chasing him from junior high to senior high. During that time, he found out that Gu Yansheng liked hanging out with a person named Su Tong. That person resembled a cloud, gentle and fair. People felt very comfortable just looking at him.

The two of them often played games together. Shen Kanyu didn’t know how to play, but he still thickened his skin and annoyed Gu Yansheng and Su Tong to bring him along in their games.

Although Gu Yansheng refused, Su Tong thought that Shen Kanyu was really cute and was thus extremely willing to bring him along.

Gu Yansheng was very unhappy looking at Su Tong’s kindness toward Shen Kanyu, and this unhappiness completely exploded on the day the three of them played in a team competition together.

The sole condition for victory was to attack and kill the boss without losing a single team member. Everything went well at first, and their small team of three was about to capture the boss. However, when an enemy directed their ultimate move at Gu Yansheng, Shen Kanyu, with only half his HP left, flashed in front of Gu Yansheng to block it in his stead and died in an instant.

Without a member, the mission failed.

“Shen Kanyu, what are you doing?!” Gu Yansheng directly threw away the mouse, and even Su Tong who was always tranquil and composed4 creased his brows.
[T/N: 4Idiom: Light clouds and gentle breeze]

Shen Kanyu froze, his puppy-like moist eyes blinking a couple of times. Then a smile emerged on his face once again. Facing Gu Yansheng’s anger, he shamelessly said, “Protecting you ah.”

“I don’t need your protection, I could’ve evaded it myself. And even if I was hit and lost a lot of HP, I still wouldn’t die!” Gu Yansheng was so enraged his face turned blue.

Shen Kanyu wasn’t angry. He was only thinking that Gu Yansheng was way too cute for getting this angry over a game, and simply smiled softly, saying, “But what if you did die?”

“There’s no ‘what if’.” Gu Yansheng gritted his teeth in fury. “Don’t be delusional. I’ve played this game with Su Tong for a long time and we’ve never lost this competition. It’s because of you that we lost. You should have a little self-awareness, and stop doing these irritating things all day long, okay?”

“A-Sheng.” Su Tong, thinking that his words were too heavy, spoke up to stop him.

Shen Kanyu’s eyelashes quivered, yet that brilliant, almost fawning smile, remained on his face. “Then do you really hate me?”

“I loathe you.” After asserting that with finality, Gu Yansheng frowned, put on his bag, and left.

***

From that time onwards, Shen Kanyu disappeared from Gu Yansheng’s world for a very long period of time—of course, that was for Gu Yansheng only.

That was because Shen Kanyu followed him from a large distance every day after school, all the way until he safely sat on the bus. Only then would he blow a kiss to the bus, then turn around to either head to his part-time job or walk home.

He often walked while kicking stones on the road, his mouth muttering: “Why does he hate delusional people that much? What if being delusional works out in the end? He’s not even giving me a chance, sighs.”

On the way home, he saw that there were few people in the cake shop which was always so popular, and the egg yolk shortcake which was usually all sold out was completely filled this time.

He bought two boxes of egg yolk shortcakes using the money he earned from his part-time job. Then, he rushed home full of joy.

This was his older brother’s and mother’s favorite pastry.

Once he arrived home, he saw his older brother Shen Danxi reading a book while sitting on a bench in the garden. He rushed over with excitement. “Gege! Look what I’ve brought back for you!”

Shen Danxi put aside the book, gently stroking his head, “What is it?”

“Egg yolk shortcake!” Shen Kanyu cupped the egg yolk shortcake in both hands as he gave it to Shen Danxi as if he was presenting a treasure. “Quickly eat it gege, it’s still hot! I hugged it in my arms the whole way!”

“Thank you, Kanyu.” Shen Danxi accepted the egg yolk shortcake with a gentle smile.

Shen Kanyu leaned on the chair’s armrest in excitement, anxiously waiting for Shen Danxi to take a bite of the pastry, yet he was suddenly slapped heavily out of nowhere.

Translations belong to grimtranslations(.)home(.)blog

Extra Notes: 
[1] Phoenix eyes – Chinese people consider this an exotic and beautiful eye shape

[2] Wishful thinking/Don’t be delusional – it’s the one idiom in Chinese (自作多情); can also mean ‘showering affection on an uninterested party’ or ‘unreciprocated affection’. Though it’s all the same characters, I change the translation to match the situation.