Waiting for You in a City

In the courtyard, the main house was lit up.

After Xu Qin finished saying that sentence, aunt echoed: “Yes, his job is dangerous.”

Uncle noticed something strange in her face and asked, “What happened today?”

“I saw Song Yan today. Someone in the hospital was about to jump off the building, he went to save people, and he almost fell off the building,” Xu Qin said, “21st floor.”

Uncle and aunt were taken aback at the same time: “What happened after?”

“He’s fine.”

“What about the others? And the one who jumped off the building?”

“Everyone was fine.”

“That’s good.” The two breathed a sigh of relief.

“I was scared.” Xu Qin lowered her eyes and gently stirred the small rice balls in the bowl, the small balls had been soaking for a long time, and the edges were hairy and blurred shapes, “If he fell…”

There was silence.

“Don’t be afraid,” aunt touched her hand, “he has a sense of proportion, he will protect himself and his subordinates.” About to guess something, she said again, “Actually, uncle told him to transfer his post, but he can’t let go of the soldiers under him. Their team is the most comprehensive and disciplined in this area, and there was no major casualties. It was all thanks to his training.”

These words did not have the slightest comforting effect on Xu Qin, but she had nothing to say, and after a long while, she asked: “Why did he choose this profession in the first place?”

The couple looked at each other, and uncle said: “You know that kid didn’t like to study since he was a child, and he didn’t obey discipline, so he was sent to the army. Afterward…… There was no other way at home, so he became a firefighter.”

Xu Qin lowered her head and stirred the spoon: “Hmm.”

Seeing this, aunt couldn’t sit still, her mouth moved, and she looked at her husband eagerly; uncle glared fiercely, and it was considered to be pressed down.

Aunt exhaled a deep breath from her nose, held it for a long time, and spoke: “Qin Qin, my nephew looks rough, but he is actually very careful and loves others. He’s different from the men out there now. Others want to play more while they are young. As for him, he was also abandoned when he was young, and he just wants to have a family, to dote on the family and be good to the family. He is such a person. I’m not speaking selfishly to protect him, you know that?”

Xu Qin: “En.”

Nothing else.

What else can aunt say, uncle said: “Qin Qin is also tired, go rest early after eating.”

Xu Qin went back to the room.

Aunt took the bowl and sighed: “Does this child have something on her mind?”

“They will take care of their own affairs, so don’t worry about it.”

“How can I not worry, I won’t end up like Yan Yan’s mother.”

“The more you talk, it’ll never end. All right, go to bed early.”

……

The lights went out.

There was no moon tonight, the wooden windows were dark, and not a shadow of the trees to be seen.

Xu Qin lay on the bed, picked up her mobile phone and looked, one missed call, four text messages, all Song Yan.

The call came at 4:40 p.m., after rescuing the jumper.

The first two messages followed:

“Where are you?”

“Getting to work?”

The third message was five minutes apart:

“I’m leaving. Don’t worry about me. Will pay attention to safety.”

The fourth message at eleven o’clock at night:

“Don’t go alone when you get home from work, uncle will pick you up. If you don’t see him, call him.”

In the darkness, Xu Qin stared at those messages for a long time, until her eyes were sore.

She raised her arms and covered her eyes.

After a long time, she didn’t reply to him.

Gradually, she fell asleep.

Xu Qin forgot to set the alarm clock, and the next day she woke up unexpectedly late, woke up only a quarter of an hour before start of work.

She took out her mobile phone to call a taxi, found that there was traffic jam, and it took half an hour to get to the train.

There was a long queue in front of the train ticket machine, she waited, finally reached her turn, and followed the prompts to choose the line and arrival station. But the machine didn’t issue a ticket. She was looking up and down hastily, when the people behind her got impatient and shouted: “Press ‘OK’. What are you doing standing there?”

Xu Qin found that there was an OK button at the bottom of the screen, and pressed it before the ticket was issued.

It was rush hour for work, and the subway station was full of people, a thronging crowd. When passing through the gate, she deliberately remembered that Song Yan said not to cross the yellow line.

Inside the station, the passengers were in a hurry, and when they looked up, they were all heads.

At the platform, every door was crowded with office workers, all looking expressionlessly at the screen door or looking at their phones.

Xu Qin stood up, and behind her, a steady stream of passengers gathered closely.

The subway came into the station, and as soon as the doors opened, crowds of people poured out, and more people from outside of the train poured back in. The two groups of people mixed together like a mudslide. The force from the outside to the inside was even more powerful, and the people who had just been squeezed out were clamped back in. Xu Qin was pushed and shoved by the crowd behind her, completely lost her ability to control herself, and rolled towards the car door like a leaf falling into the whirlpool.

The people in front couldn’t get in, and the people behind pushed her forward. Her chest and back were pressed against them, and they were about to crush her. She just got pushed to the door but couldn’t get in.

The subway doors make a dripping sound and red lights flash.

But one of her arms was squeezed by the two bodies in front of her, and she couldn’t move.

“My hand!”

The car door began to close, Xu Qin pulled hard, screaming: “Let go!”

The two turned their backs to her, not caring in the slightest.

Seeing this, a man in the car quickly grabbed her arm, pulled it violently, and pushed it!

Doors closed!

Xu Qin’s hand was pulled out suddenly, and she fell to the ground all at once. When her wrist twisted on the ground, a sharp pain exploded.

She broke out in a cold sweat from the pain, and opened her mouth, but couldn’t make a sound. Under severe pain, one would instinctively maintain the posture of falling, not daring to move, and did not recover from the pain for ten seconds.

Good thing it was the left hand!

She gritted her teeth and thought. There was already a fine layer of sweat between her eyebrows.

A boy next to her picked her up: “Are you okay?”

She shook her head and stood up slowly, holding her left wrist with her right hand and putting it on her chest to protect it. She didn’t dare to move her wrist rashly any more, it was excruciatingly painful.

The next car came, and she was swept up and out of the car by the crowd.

When she arrived at the hospital, she was a mess, her clothes and hair were loose and crumbling.

She tried to move her wrist slowly, and the pain passed, leaving only soreness.

She finally breathed a sigh of relief.

Fortunately, there was no sprain.

She simply brushed her teeth and washed her face, returned to the office, and listened to Xiao Nan worrying: “What kind of job should I find for him, he can’t just be a security guard surely?”

Xiao Xi was surprised: “Your boyfriend is changing jobs?”

“Sooner or later he has to change, he can’t do it for a lifetime. Scared half of my life yesterday, I almost became a widow.” Xiao Nan still had lingering fears when talking about Tong Ming’s fall from the building, “Fortunately, he will be discharged from the army soon.”

Xiao Dong: “Do you really plan to marry him?”

“Yep. Now I’m worried about his job, and I don’t know what suits him. I had to ask my dad for connections to see if he could look after a company’s fire safety. Ai1, connections are also hard to find. Headache.”

Xu Qin walked aside, took out her mobile phone and flipped out the text message sent by Song Yan yesterday, read a few words back and forth for a while, and replied:

“Got it.”

There was no reply. At this time, Song Yan should be training.

Xu Qin didn’t wait specifically, the two were busy with work, and they had long been accustomed to such a way of communication.

She put her phone back in her pocket, her wrist aching.

This soreness continued like a shadow, disturbing her heart when she was idle.

She couldn’t tell if it was because of the slightest pain in her hand or something else.

Once, when she came out of the burn department of the outpatient department, she entered the elevator, went downstairs, and walked out of the outpatient building. She didn’t know what she was thinking, but was bumped several times by the rushing patients before she regained her senses.

She found herself standing in the hospital compound.

Looking up, the sky in January was cloudy and gloomy.

In winter, the city withered away. As far as the eye could see, it was desolate and gray everywhere.

She sighed very slowly, and when she walked into the emergency room, all irrelevant thoughts were left behind.

This was her job, and once she was engaged in it, she could not carry any emotions, only pay wholehearted attention.

But her mood inevitably went all the way down.

She didn’t know if it was too much pressure, she had a nightmare that night, dreaming that a large area was on fire, as if the whole world was on fire.

Countless firefighters were carried out, bruised. And Song Yan still rushed inside, she wanted to stop it but couldn’t stop it. She saw Song Yan’s back disappear into a huge burning factory building, she immediately had a bad premonition, she wanted to call him, but there was a bang, and the factory building collapsed…

When Xu Qin woke up, it was dark all around, her chest and back were full of fine sweat, her heart beat violently, the bed was full of his smell, but her side was empty, and he was not there.

She hurriedly took her mobile phone from the cabinet and dialed Song Yan’s number.

No one answered.

He must have been on night duty, otherwise he wouldn’t have missed the call.

She thought about the dream just now, panicking in her heart, called the deputy captain, and learned that there was no fire alarm, but a drunken person stuck his head in the overpass in the middle of the night, and Song Yan’s team went to the rescue.

She was slightly relieved.

She lay on the bed in the dark, in a daze.

At this moment, she realized that after being with him, she was sinking into it little by little, unable to control it, and constantly sinking deeply.

Couldn’t get out anymore.

She wanted to wait for him to return, wanted to hear his voice, wanted to talk to him, as if that would be the way to be at ease.

But she didn’t know when he would return, the night was so deep, waiting and waiting, she gradually fell asleep again.

Until the next morning, at five to seven, the phone rang, it was Song Yan:

“Are you awake?”

“You know I get up at seven in the morning.” She was startled awake, and before she could adjust her breathing, she panted under the quilt, squinted her eyes and turned over again.

Hearing the movement there, he smiled softly: “So I came to chat with you for five minutes….I finished work late yesterday, and I didn’t want to disturb you because you were asleep….Why did you call me at that time? Weren’t you sleeping?”

It was okay if he didn’t mention it, but once he said it, all her misery from the past few days all came up from her chest.

She opened her eyes slightly, calmed down, and spoke, “I had a nightmare.”

Song Yan paused for a second: “What nightmare?”

“Explosion, you were dead.”

There was silence for half a moment, and he smiled a little bitterly: “Silly.” He said, “I’ll be fine.”

Xu Qin covered her eyes with her arm and did not speak.

Song Yan noticed the change in the atmosphere, and his voice lowered, asking, “Why are you silent?”

“……”

“Hm?”

“I don’t know what to say.” Xu Qin mumbled.

At this moment, Song Yan did not speak. Both sides were silent, perhaps because both sides were somewhat powerless.

Song Yan said, “On the roof that day, were you scared?”

Xu Qin still covered her eyes and said nothing.

“Xu Qin?”

“Hmm?”

“Scared?”

“En.” Her voice was extremely low and she trembled a little.

Song Yan’s heart tugged hard.

To be honest, he was scared that day too.

Although he fully believed in Xiao Ge’s reaction speed, at that moment, because she was behind him, he was frightened.

Later, when he looked at her, she looked terrified, and even her lips were miserably pale.

After the incident, the others quickly went their separate ways, as if the danger just now was not worth mentioning. Only she stood where she was, her eyes locked on him, and she probably didn’t even know that her lips were trembling.

At that moment, Song Yan suddenly realized that if he really fell, everyone on the rooftop and downstairs would continue to live their own lives. The next day, the sun would also rise as usual.

Only she wouldn’t.

Of those people, only her life was tightly tied to him.

He was afraid that she might jump with him.

At that moment, how was he not afraid?

On the other end of the phone, Song Yan lowered his head, rubbed the bridge of his nose hard, having alot of things to say, finally turned into a helpless sigh and said: “I will pay attention, there will be no accident.”

She still didn’t say anything.

He suddenly felt powerless and frustrated, and could imagine her curled up alone under the covers silent and depressed, but he couldn’t even give the comfort of a hug.

He couldn’t bear it, raised his tone a little, and coaxed: “You forgot, my injury hasn’t healed yet, it’s just an instructor’s role, don’t need to work hard, don’t need to get into fires.”

She moved slightly.

The quilt rustled, he heard it,

Continue to coax: “I’ll be back tonight to accompany you for the weekend.” You go to work with a peace of mind, and when you leave work, I’ll be home.”

She let out a sullen “en” and slightly showed a hint of interest: “Is it two days off?”

“En. Two days. ”

“That’s pretty good.” She said softly, “I changed my shift earlier with my colleague, and I just happen to have the weekend free.” Speaking of this, she smiled lightly, perhaps with a hint of smug sweetness in her heart.

Song Yan finally smiled slightly and said, “Go to work early, don’t be stuck in traffic on the road and be late.” He also advised, “Take a taxi in, don’t squeeze on the subway. There are many people at peak time, you can’t bear it.”

Xu Qin was stunned, she didn’t mention the experience from last time, and nodded: “Okay, I know.” At the end, she turned over again and whispered, “Song Yan.”

“Hmm?”

“I miss you.” She said softly.

Song Yan’s heart softened, his breathing slowed down, and said, “I miss you too, very much.”

……

The phone call this morning was like a small antidote, which rescued Xu Qin a little from the sluggish state of the past few days.

She didn’t live as miserable as usual.

Today, there were a few major events in the emergency room, and she still had time to discuss research topics with Professor Xu Ken at noon.

When she left work at six o’clock, she received a text message from Song Yan, saying that he was on duty to rescue a child stuck in a revolving door, he would be delayed for a while and get home later.

Xu Qin said okay.

Anyway, she had transferred her shift, and had to continue her evening shift.

But an hour later, as she was flipping through her papers, there were hurried footsteps outside.

“Doctor!” Several scruffy men covered in soot rushed in, “Help!”

Uniform army-green vests and fire-uniform pants, each tall and sturdy, just like when they came in that night.

Only this time, Song Yan was not wearing a mask, his face was covered with black ash and bloodshot, and there was a burn on his shoulder.

When the two looked at each other, they were stunned.

Xu Qin understood, and her face became cold in an instant.

Song Yan’s expression was also a little at a loss. He didn’t expect that she was still at work, and he didn’t expect to be exposed the first time he lied, he didn’t expect to promise nothing will happen in the morning and to get injured in the evening.

Yang Chi was quite happy to see Xu Qin: “Doctor, our captain is injured——”

“You all go out first.” Xu Qin said.

“This injury is-“

“Get out.” Xu Qin put on a mask.

Everyone was taken aback, eh? Aren’t they already familiar with each other? Why did Dr. Xu turn back to the original indifferent doctor? Looking at Song Yan again, a certain captain sat aside with his head slightly lowered, not saying a word. The slightest bit of the captain’s posture was gone.

Everyone noticed that something was wrong, exchanged glances, and immediately slipped out.

The interior was suddenly quiet.

Song Yan raised his eyes and glanced at Xu Qin.

She was wearing a mask, he couldn’t see her expression, her eyes on the mask were unusually flat and indifferent, she washed her hands over and over again, very hard. She said:

“You forgot, my injury hasn’t healed yet, it’s just an instructor’s role, don’t need to work hard, don’t need to get into fires.”

She also said:

“Saving a child stuck in a revolving door, delayed for a while, will get home later.”

Song Yan’s scalp felt numb all of a sudden, and he knew something was wrong, so he wanted to get up: “Xu Qin—”

“You sit down for me.”

Song Yan stopped moving.

“And he said,” she took a breath and put on her gloves, “he will pay attention, nothing will happen.”

She threw medicine and tools on the shelf, and threw tweezers and scissors onto the plate, ping pong.

Calmly venting her anger.

Song Yan sat behind her, looking at her thin body under the white coat, and saw that she was so angry that even the hem of the gown was shaking; He frowned deeply and lowered his voice: “I’m sorry.”

Her back froze for a moment.

“I’m sorry. Xu Qin, I didn’t want you to worry.” His tone was dry and hoarse, with a hint of weariness.

Her back trembled, she shook her head, lowered her head, and squeezed the table with her thin fingers: “It’s not this. I’m not asking you to say I’m sorry.”

“…… I don’t want you to be sorry for me.” She said, “Don’t be sorry for me.”

Both were silent.

The room was quiet, and the air was almost stagnant.

“Song Yan,” she turned her back to him, without looking back, she asked softly, “Have you ever thought about… changing jobs?”

Song Yan’s eyebrows were still frowning, there was no slightest change of emotion on his face, he was about to say something.

She suddenly turned around and interrupted: “Let’s talk about it when we are home, it’s working time.”

He knew that she was scared, conflicted and evasive. Afraid that he would refuse, she fled away because of the contradiction.

He inadvertently pursed his lips.

She pulled the mobile cart behind him, skillfully picked up the scissors to cut off his clothes, was just about to clean his wounds, but saw that he was covered with injuries everywhere.

New and old.

One by one, as if the injured person would not hurt.

The hand holding the tweezers trembled slightly, and her eyes turned red.

She was not noble and great at all, she did not know deep righteousness at all, she was a selfish person, she only knew that this was the person she loved, why should he have to bear all of this?

Why?

Lips trembled gently,

And the next moment, she saw the longest scar on his body, on his back,

In October, when she was rescued from the car accident, he pushed her away, scratched himself, and now the scar was permanently on his back, showing the pain fiercely and silently.

For a moment, she was completely silent.

But Song Yan knew what she was looking at and what she was thinking without raising her head.

He also wanted to say something, but at this moment, he didn’t want to do anything.

He suddenly lowered his head and fell towards her.

He bumped into her lightly, hugged her waist, and buried his head on her chest.

He closed his eyes, as if he had fallen asleep from exhaustion.

In his arms, Dr. Xu’s waist was very thin and soft;

On Dr. Xu’s white coat, there was a faint smell of disinfectant.

1 哎 āi – interjection used to attract attention or to express surprise or disapprobation