Waiting for You in a City

The night was deep.

The office building across the road was pitch black, with only a light on one of the middle floors, like a string of shining bracelets.

Xu Qin stood on the balcony side of the hospital, hiding in the shadows, with a cigarette burning in her hand.

Song Yan left.

After cleaning up his injuries, he had to go back to the team to change clothes and do the finishing touches.

Xu Qin stood in the cold wind of the winter night and glanced at her hand, she had just held his head and touched his hair. The fingertips were stained with soot, dust, blood.

She knew how tired he was, she was also tired.

He didn’t say much when he left, telling her to go back to work and they would talk when she got home.

But as for her, even though she was completely chilled by the cold wind at this moment, her mind was still chaotic, and she couldn’t make up her mind.

She wished to never get off work today.

Just as she was thinking, she heard the sound of an ambulance in the distance.

At the end of the night, the red police lights flashed dazzlingly.

She let out a long breath, put out the cigarette, and went back indoors to wash her hands carefully.

This time, they were washed four times.

……

When Song Yan returned home, Xu Qin had not yet returned.

The wooden windows of the west wing were dark, and the main house was lit up. His aunt knew he was back and put together a table of food.

Song Yan didn’t rest well these days, and he was busy all day today. He ate only two steamed buns, tired and hungry, he sat down to eat, without even saying hello.

When his aunt saw his silent appearance, her heart clicked. No matter how difficult it was at work, he would not look like this.

While taking chopsticks to fill Song Yan’s bowl, she asked in a low voice: “Today… saw Qin Qin?”

Song Yan’s chopsticks paused and continued to eat: “En.”

Aunt immediately scanned him up and down: “Hurt? Where does it hurt?” As she spoke, she wanted him to show her.

Song Yan frowned slightly and pulled her hand away: “Small injury.”

Seeing his expression, aunt knew that he was uncomfortable, and asked, “Qin Qin was distressed, right?”

Song Yan didn’t speak.

He didn’t say a word, his aunt was inevitably worried, and tentatively said: “Didn’t break up, right?”

Song Yan was stunned, with rice in his mouth, and shook his head.

Aunt breathed a sigh of relief, and secretly scolded herself for talking too much. If they really broke up, he couldn’t sit here properly.

“As long as you’re fine.” Aunt said, “Why do you look very worried? Tell me and your uncle, see if I can give you some advice.”

Song Yan was silent for a second, shook his head slightly, and said, “I feel that I am quite useless.”

I can’t even protect her peace of mind.

She’s a person who likes to think about things, is used to being silent, her heart panicked and depressed to death, she has to wait until the limit is approaching and she can’t bear it before she explodes a little.

He wasn’t with her these days, and he didn’t know how she lived alone.

Had a nightmare that night and hurriedly called him.

And later?

Got used to it, just endured it herself.

Song Yan lowered his head slightly, held his eyebrows with his hand, and pinched the bridge of his nose hard.

He was really tired and didn’t want to say anything.

He didn’t say much.

Aunt spoke: “Yan, I know that you like her, so I can’t persuade you, your uncle and I won’t say much. There are just things that I have to remind you. It’s not that I’m being talkative, Qin Qin is nice, I can see she really likes you. But I’m afraid when times go on, you guys are not suitable for each other.”

“Think about it. Back then, your mother had a good life, but she ran away when she was coaxed by the rich and powerful. Even if she ended up in that kind of situation, she would not come back to live the life of an ordinary person. What’s more, not to mention that Qin Qin was from young…”

“Xu Qin is different from her.” Song Yan’s voice was not loud, “Don’t mention that person again.”

“But…” Aunt had to say something, but was held back by uncle.

Song Yan put down his chopsticks and said, “She’s leaving work, I’ll go pick her up.”

“It’s still early, you haven’t eaten a few bites of your food-“

Song Yan had already gotten up, he picked up the coat on the chair, and went out.

The two elders sat in the room without moving, until they heard the footsteps getting farther and farther away, the door opened and closed, uncle said: “How many times have I told you, don’t bring up that person in front of the child.”

“The child is grown…..”

“Even if you’re old, the wounds are still there. Did you see how he looked? …… Besides, how do you compare Qin Qin with her? Do you think they don’t have enough trouble?”

“Oops, I was wrong. I’m also worried, what can I do?”

“Don’t mention it later, we’ll see what they say when they come back.”

……

Xu Qin left work on time.

Late at night, there were very few vehicles on the road. The taxi drove less than ten minutes to Wu Fang Street.

The path was empty. The street lamps were dim, shining on the bare branches on both sides. Winter in the north seemed to be endlessly long.

Before the car stopped, Xu Qin saw Song Yan standing by the side of the road, smoking a cigarette, waiting for her. He exhaled a puff of smoke, his gaze fixed on the car.

She got out of the car, he extinguished the cigarette and threw it in the trash.

She put her hands in her pockets and walked past him.

He followed, taking her hand; She gently broke away. He walked aside and continued to take her hand, which she gently broke away again.

She still walked forward, and he added a little strength, took her by the arm and took her into his arms, the whole person held her firmly from behind. She was about to break free again, he bound tighter, resting his chin on her shoulder, and whispered:

“Wifey, let me hold you for a while.”

Xu Qin suddenly softened, and couldn’t moved.

When he was young, he pretended to be mature, and always called her wifey; As an adult, this was the first time.

Wu Fang Street was empty, and as far as the eye could see, wooden houses and stone alleys, red tile low walls. The glitz and bustle of the day had long dissipated, leaving the midnight silence.

There was silence all around, as if the whole city had fallen asleep.

Only the two of them hugged each other, on this street late at night.

Xu Qin turned around and hugged his waist.

She leaned against his chest, closed her eyes, her cheeks felt the temperature and heartbeat from his chest, and smelled the clean soap on his body.

In this small world in his arms, there was still the peace she knew best.

Hugging each other and said nothing.

He lowered his head and kissed her cold little face, hugged her tightly, hugged her for a long time, reluctant to let go, until he noticed that she was trembling slightly, then took her hand, rubbed it, and said, “Find a place to sit for a while, and get you something to eat.”

She looked up: “Auntie made a late-night snack, right?”

“Not with them.” Song Yan said, “Just the two of us.”

……

Wu Fang Street was not completely asleep.

Deep in the alley, after many twists and turns, you could always find small shops that were still open.

Song Yan led Xu Qin into a seafood restaurant and ordered a few dishes according to her preference.

Small shops were generally plainly decorated but clean. Although it was late at night, there were still several tables of customers in the store, the tables were full of all kinds of seafood, they all spoke in a low voice and did not disturb others.

The two chose the most remote seats.

Xu Qin took off her down jacket, the tip of her nose was frozen red, and said to the waiter: “Let’s have a bottle of wine.”

Song Yan looked at her: “Want to drink?”

Xu Qin nodded.

Song Yan asked the waiter to bring the wine, he poured it, and handed her a glass.

Xu Qin took it, lifted it and poured a large mouthful.

Song Yan was stunned, she didn’t stop, her cup half-emptied.

Song Yan looked at her, didn’t say anything, and then saw that there was a wotou1 on the table next to theirs, and asked the waiter to bring a plate immediately to pad her stomach.

wo tou 窝头 – Chinese cornbread

“You can talk after drinking?” Song Yan teased very lightly.

“Well, I want to drink.” Xu Qin said, holding her face with her hand, “Anyway, with you, I am not afraid.”

He smiled lightly and said, “You can’t drink like this with others, you know?”

“I know.” She nodded and said, “Just drink with you.”

The waiter brought the plate of wotou, and Song Yan gave her one: “Hurry up and eat something.”

Just now, she just downed half a glass of white wine, and her face had already begun to redden.

Xu Qin grabbed the wotou and took a small bite.

Steamed prawns were then served.

Song Yan picked one up, removed the shrimp head, peeled the shell, and put it on her plate: “Eat while it’s hot.”

She took the chopsticks and put them in her mouth, the shrimp was very fresh, and sweet.

She waited for him to peel the shrimp, and tried a little: “Do you like your current job very much? Because, it’s noble?”

The corners of his lips curled, but he said: “To be honest, if I say how much I love and how much I want to dedicate, there is no such thing. Sometimes I feel quite tired….It’s just one thing. Now that I have done it, I have to put it into practice. Do a good job. If I have the responsibility, I should take it seriously.”

Finally, added a sentence, “Until the day I leave my post.”

Xu Qin listened, still in a trance, the shrimp meat in his hand had been handed to her mouth, she obediently opened her mouth to bite, slowly finished eating, wanted to ask something, the waiter brought the scallops out.

Song Yan placed two into her bowl.

She ate slowly, and then asked, “What are uncle and auntie doing?”

He glanced at his watch and said, “They should be sleeping.”

Put the peeled shrimp on her bowl.

“That night, your uncle and aunt went to pick me up.”

“I know.”

“You told them, you definitely knew. You don’t know the other things though.”

“What’s going on?” He glanced up at her.

“Your aunt took my hand. She said my hands were too cold and wanted to help me cover them.”

Song Yan smiled and handed the peeled shrimp to her mouth, she leaned over and ate it, her breath was already hot. She held her crooked head with her hand and said, “Your family is very good to me.”

Song Yan stopped, stopped the movement in his hand, and looked at her. He knew that she had something to say, he unconsciously wiped his hands with a tissue and waited.

“Song Yan, I said when I was a child, it was good to live in your house, do you remember?”

“I remember.”

“I wasn’t very sensible at the time, I just felt that way, and I said that. But now, I understand things, and I still think it’s good to live with your family.” Xu Qin looked at him, the wine came up slowly, her face became more and more red, her speech became slower and slower, “Uncle, auntie, and Zhai Miao, they are all very good. I also like them a lot, really like them. But…”

“They’re nice to me, I like them, it’s just… Because of you.”

She took a slight breath: “If you are gone, they would have nothing to do with me. I’ll still be alone. Do you understand?”

Song Yan was silent.

Her hand pressed to the edge of the table, clenched into a small fist, he reached over and held her trembling hand: “Xu Qin——”

“You listen to me first,” she interrupted softly, “I’m afraid I won’t tell you if I don’t say it now. In fact…… I thought about it, and if something happens to you one day, I would steal morphine and syringes from the hospital.”

Song Yan was stunned.

She was calm, as if describing something very common, “Or steal a scalpel and sleeping pills, here-“

She flipped the hand he was holding and drew her fingers on her wrist.

He watched, and his face changed slightly.

“It doesn’t matter if you think I’m worthless, or you think I’m weak and useless, maybe you think I’m threatening you, and you want to be angry. But that’s what I thought when you almost fell down the building that day. If you really…” She seemed to imagine the scene, then shook her head quickly, “It hurts too much. I can’t bear it. I can’t go through it either.”

That oppressive and dark life, she never wanted to go back.

Having tasted warmth and happiness, she could never go back.

How did Song Yan feel after listening to her words.

He was sitting in the warm room, as if he was standing in the ice and snow, and he was so scared that even the soles of his feet felt cold. But there was another fire burning in his heart, and the flames danced in clusters.

He didn’t see it as a threat, but he loved her more, her weakness and fierceness.

Song Yan took his glass of wine, drank it, and looked at Xu Qin, her eyes were moist and clear, greeting him, and she was also waiting.

“Xu Qin,” he said first, “I may get promoted.”

She was surprised, her eyes widened.

He smiled bitterly: “I didn’t want to say it so early. The matter has not been finalized. I don’t want to give you unrealistic hope. But since last year, I have been working hard. First, I have found that the injury rate has decreased over the years. It’s linked to a full range of professional training, and most fires are preventable. Whether it is improving the training system, implementing fire inspections, or promoting fire prevention systems from the beginning, this is the job of the top.”

Hope flashed on Xu Qin’s face, and she nodded vigorously: “En.” 

Song Yan said, “Second, it’s for you.”

She froze and looked at him stunned.

After a long time, she moved a bit, wanting to say something, but with this movement, her center of gravity tilted, the alcohol rushed to her head, her elbow knocked over the plate, and it hit the ground with a bang.

She fell uncontrollably, Song Yan immediately got up and rushed to the opposite side to support her.

She leaned on him, panting heavily, and slowly looked up at him. She seemed to be awake, but her whole body was weak and limp.

The waiter was led over by the voice and took a look: “Drank too much?” 

Xu Qin hugged Song Yan’s waist and shook her head.

Song Yan touched her head and said to the waiter, “Pack it.”

With Song Yan’s arms around her waist, Xu Qin walked in the alley, her footsteps wobbled a bit, but she didn’t stagger.

“Are you happy now?” He asked.

“Happy.” She said.

He smiled a little.

After entering the yard, his aunt came out of the house: “Are you back?” Seeing Xu Qin hugging Song Yan and hanging on to his body, she sensed something was wrong and went down the steps: “What’s wrong?”

Song Yan handed her the packed food in his hand and said, “It’s okay. She drank too quickly, but not much, she will be fine after a while.”

Xu Qin followed and nodded: “En.”

Song Yan took Xu Qin into the room, put her on the bed, took off her shoes and clothes.

She wasn’t too drunk, just didn’t have the strength, and obediently cooperated with him.

He brought hot water to wipe her face, wash her hands and feet, and she went limply along with him.

He tidied himself up again, he had come back from a busy day, turned off the room light, turned on the desk lamp, and looked back.

She lay on the bed and looked at him quietly, the blush on her cheeks lightening.

He went to her side and touched her face, a little funny: “Awake?”

“I wasn’t drunk.”

“Did you pretend to have no strength and tricked me to serve you?”

She smiled.

“I was thinking… I’ll take advantage of you while you’re drunk.” He fiddled with the broken hair on her forehead and said slowly, his eyes fell from her forehead to her eyes.

There was only one desk lamp turned on in the room, he was facing the light, his eyes were dark.

They stared at each other.

He touched her eyebrow with his fingers.

She slowly blinked her eyes and said: “You didn’t finish talking just now.”

“Huh?”

“You said, it’s also for me.” 

“En.” He ran his fingers across the bridge of her nose, all the way down, and fell to her lips.

“Xu Qin, I think about the future life for the two of us.”

“Hmm?” A flash of longing flashed in her eyes.

“At that time, we would live in our house and have bought a car. I work regularly, nine to five, and I could have breakfast with you, drive you to work, and pick you up from work. We cook together, watch movies, go shopping, and plant flowers together. Raise small animals. Go on dates near Di City on weekends, and travel farther when you take annual leave. If you feel lazy and don’t want to go out, just stay at home, lie in bed and bask in the sun, don’t go anywhere. Just me and you.”

Unconsciously, the corner of Xu Qin’s lips gently pursed into a smile, her eyes were shining, looking at him, as if she saw such a happy scene.

“Want to live that life with me?” He asked.

“I want to.” She grinned and threw her arms around his neck.

1 窝头 wō tóu – Chinese cornbread