The church bazaars in remote countryside look quite like a festival of their own kind.
They are lacking in other kinds of amusement so they put all the liveliness on this one instead.
All kinds of homemade sundries and baked sweets line up one after another, with lively music reverberating in the air, and there was even a theatrical play going in the church’s courtyard.

The church bazaars in the capital are similar in some ways, but half of them have become social gatherings for the noble madams with their resounding giggles as they amuse themselves with gossip at the table set for them, or noblemen, with their loud bragging of their contributions, as if mistaking the charitable event for a place to brag their wealth and influences. They are both a little too much for my liking, but here, it really feels like a fun festival that truly lives up to its name as a bazaar.

I see a lot of children too, watching these adorably dressed little sweethearts peddle the small flower bouquets in their flower baskets made me inadvertently want to buy one from them.

Having bought a single bouquet of white marguerites, I strolled around the place linked arms with Firman.

‘Hello, Aileen. You came too?’

Having briefly strolled around the bazaar and taking a break on the benches for a refreshment, Rev. Robert who seems to have found us approached our seat. He, who oversees the church, has all sorts of food and baked sweets in his arms. They are likely forced graces of stall owners. He sat next to me, asking us for help in eating them all.

I took a cupcake while Firman took a piece of bread and the three of us cordially ate together.

‘It’s been a while since you attended the bazaar here, have you not? Are you enjoying yourself?’

Well, I am!

Looking up to Firman who sat next to me, he responded with a smile. Mhm, looks like Firman is in good humor today.

But I cannot elaborate on this and speaking fondly of my lover to Rev. Robert, so I just muttered ‘yes’ and nodded in affirmation, but the reverend chuckled to my response, seemingly having seen through me nonetheless.

After enjoying some trifling conversation with him, Rev. Robert was called by a clergyman and left with him.

‘Is lady tired?’

‘Not at all! How about you, Firman?’

—or so I asked, but the answer goes without a saying. He is a trained knight with different stamina to mine.

Sure enough, he replied that he was still fine and chuckled, which made me feel a little ticklish.

Firman is always out on church errands so this is the first time we could leisurely spend alone together.

Although he was beside me when we traveled from the capital to the duchy, we hardly talked then.

‘What fine weather.’

‘It is.’

Both of us said so while looking up to the clear blue sky.

We’re not specifically doing anything but on the contrary, idle moments together with him like this make me happy.

We have only taken a brief stroll around the bazaar so far but I wish to languish here for a while.

I heard there will be a concert in the courtyard after a while, so until then, I wish to take it easy, and head there when it’s time.

The small bouquet of marguerite that I bought from the child was being swayed by the wind.

It was by no means a strong breeze, but because it’s still a little cold at the beginning of the string, the wind breeze feels chilly on your skin.

If I stick close to Firman and tell him I’m cold, I wonder what kind of face he will make? Would I be a bother to him then? Would he feel repulsed? Or would he gently say, ‘I guess it cannot be helped, lady’, and hold me closer?

I cast down a fleeting gaze on the bench, wishing within my innermost to fill the small gap between us.

I would have liked to hold him tight without any reservations but I do not have the courage for that yet.

Love is really complicated.

In Maynard’s case, we have been engaged by birth and our marriage was already beyond any doubts, so there is hardly any room for reservation. In contrast, I do not know Firman’s likes and dislikes, having not known him for a while, which makes it hard to presume upon him because I fear that acting too spoiled might repulse him instead.

But still, we’re lovers, after all, so I would hope to little-by-little, shorten the distance between us, wouldn’t I?

I wonder where should I start?

What are the steps of love even?

It should’ve been obvious, but recent days have made me realize that ‘fellowship’ is not really the end goal here.

Ugh, maybe I should ask Caroline about it sometime.

My dear Caroline is yet to be engaged to anyone despite her popularity as a lady of the three ducal houses, but she floats around many evening parties from here and there; a lady full of love. That being said, the way she lets herself loose while still not crossing the line is what makes her amazing—anyhow, as far as I know, no one comes above her when it comes to capturing men’s hearts.

‘Lady Aileen?’

Firman worriedly peered over me as I was brooding over my thoughts.

‘Is something the matter? Do you feel ill?’

Taken aback, I shook my head from left to right in denial.

There is nothing at all, sir!

I, most definitely, am not thinking of wanting to flirt with Sir Firman more. I haven’t something to be guilty about in the slightest.

‘The concert is about to start soon. Shall we go?’

Firman presented his hand to me, and I held it and carefully stood up. When I put a little strength to my hand, not wanting to let go of his, he left them be.

It was a trivial thing, but it’s these trifling things that make my heart clamor.

Grasping small happiness in my hand, we both headed to the concert stage in the church’s courtyard.

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