Your Teacher I, am Hella Rich

Chapter 11 – A Single Sword Tilts The City

“Knight Errant Road” introduced a new system where Chance Encounters were now possible.

 The patch update came out in the morning. Ji Xiaoli and Milk Tea Small Crisp completed their daily tasks and planned to try it out.

【Teacher Orders a Salute: There was a message in the World Chat this morning, that mentioned the likelihood of triggering a Chance Encounter right next to the teahouse in Xiliang City. Let’s go check it out.】

And thus, the duo made their way toward the teahouse.

The Chance Encounter System. Whether it triggers or not will depend entirely on fate. It is, after all, a chance encounter.

A stroll down the street may suddenly trigger an Encounter. Even forging equipment might trigger a prompt. After completing the quest, players would receive silver, gems, and possibly even an exclusive title.

A player in the World Chat had recounted their experience of triggering an Encounter while they were on a mission at the teahouse. Ji Xiaoli was convinced and prepared to set it off. However, he and his disciple circled around the tea house ten times to no avail.

【Teacher Orders a Salute: ……】

【Milk Tea Small Crisp: ……】

【Teacher Orders a Salute: This doesn’t make any sense! So many people confirmed that the Chance Encounter is triggered here, and this is the best chance encounter to prompt!】

【Milk Tea Small Crisp: Try again.】

Ji Xiaoli gave his disciple a once-over when a sudden thought came to mind: 

【Damn, this teacher almost forgot. Disciple, you’re an African!】

 【Milk Tea Small Crisp: ???】

 【I’m an Asian who has been led astray by you, an African! At this rate, I’m going to be an African too!】

【……】

Not betraying the sect when he had the chance to, was the worst decision he’d ever made in his life!

 Naturally, Ji Xiaoli did not dare to provoke his disciple. His disciple was exceedingly dominant and was very aggressive when he PK-ed. He could very well go into slaughter mode if he were annoyed. Ji Xiaoli backtracked to console him: 

【It’s all right. You may be an African, but your teacher, I, am a respectable man, and will not abandon you. Come on, let’s go wander around again.】

【Milk Tea Small Crisp: Hehe.】

Ji Xiaoli shrank back at his disciple’s response. It’s not as though his words were inaccurate. If his disciple weren’t such an African, why would he break the bank just to buy an account? It was obvious he did not have the luck to draw it himself.

Ji Xiaoli was in the same boat. It was still on him if his disciple was unable to trigger it!

The virtuous shifu brought his cold-hearted disciple around the world of Knight Errant Road. Wandering from Xiliang City to Forgotten Peak, and from Wudang to Emei. Triggering an Encounter? There was not even a strand of hair to be found. Ji Xiaoli was distraught, reflecting upon how unorthodox his disciple really was. It had slipped his mind that he was no European either.

When the two arrived at Bianjing City and passed a baozi shop, they suddenly triggered an Encounter.

Ji Xiaoli was overjoyed: 【Chance Encounter!!!】

 Milk Tea Small Crisp remained unmoved: 【Mn, Chance Encounter.】

 Ji Xiaoli excitedly looked up the Encounter’s mission.

 【Chance Encounter: Locate Gongsun da-niang’s missing hosiery】

【Mission Info: Gongsun da-niang rose at daybreak to sword dance. She was so lively, she flung her hosiery off her two feet. Requesting the Player to aid her in retrieving them.】

【Hint: Gongsun da-niang* recalls losing her hosiery while performing a sword dance in Miao Chun Hall. Was it possible they ended up in the river? Perhaps they sit atop the roof?】

*da-niang (大娘) means Aunt.

 The teacher and disciple were both rendered speechless.

 Who the hell wants to fetch some aunt’s socks!?

 The blade of the sword gleamed as if Hou Yi had shot down nine suns; dance posture airy and nimble, rapid as Gods before the wings of dragons.

 The drums of the prelude pause as the thunder halts its trembles; sword shadows furled as she danced. It is breathtaking and calm, like the condensed light of the river and sea.

 Ji Xiaoli scrutinized the impetuous, plump aunt with cheeks punctuated by her chub. Before Ji Xiaoli could make the connection between this shrewish woman and the first dancer in Du Fu’s poem*, Gongsun da-niang set her arms akimbo as she swore: 【What are you looking at? You’ve never seen a beautiful woman before?! Hurry and find me my hosiery. If you don’t, are you going to replace me tonight to sword dance for His Highness? Hmph, you scare me to death. If you find me my socks, I will let you watch me dance for free.】 

 *Du Fu(杜甫) is a prominent Chinese poet and politician in the Tang dynasty. The poem in question is titled 《观公孙大娘弟子舞剑器行》.

【Teacher Orders a Salute: …】

【Milk Tea Small Crisp: No thanks.】

Disciple, you’ve changed!

 You’re not that naive disciple from before anymore!

 Although Ji Xiaoli had no desire to watch the eyesore Gongsun da-niang’s sword dancing either, this was his and his disciple’s first Chance Encounter.

 Ji Xiaoli gritted his teeth: 【We’re doing it!】

 The two arrived at Miao Chun Hall. As soon as they entered, they were surrounded by courtesans and an old pimp. Wherever Ji Xiaoli went, the beautiful women followed, waving their handkerchiefs and hollering “Master”. Milk Tea Small Crisp was not so fortunate. The pimp squinted as she kept on her tail, warning her that if she entered the Miao Chun Hall, she would not be able to escape.

After rummaging in Miao Chun Hall for ten minutes, Ji Xiaoli finally found a piece of pitch-black fabric in the grass and suspected it to be a sock.

【Hurry, Disciple! I think I found it!】

Milk Tea Small Crisp strode over with haste. However, before the female Emei could approach, a train of white silk immediately wrapped around Ji Xiaoli’s arm with a wave of her hand.

 Ji Xiaoli froze.

 Green figures floated above his head. Milk Tea Small Crisp was healing him.

 Ji Xiaoli realized something in that instant: 【What the fuck, why is my health dropping?!】

 【Item: Gongsun da-niang’s hosiery (1)】

【Function: Stinks beyond belief. Picking it up will trigger a poisoning effect. 1% of blood will be lost every second. Casting away the hosiery will halt its effects, but it will disappear to a random location.】

Ji Xiaoli cried out in horror: 【What do we do now? That percentage of blood lost… It wouldn’t matter even if you gave me milk*!】

*Milk (奶) is a Chinese gaming slang for heals.

What else can be done?

 Milk Tea Small Crisp calmly composed himself as he assessed the situation. He healed Ji Xiaoli while probing around for the other sock.

Three minutes later, Milk Tea Small Crisp located the second sock. With haste, the two of them consumed potions and broke into a run to the baozi shop to find Gongsun da-niang. After trading the hosiery with the other party, Gong Sun da-niang shyly concealed her face: 【Aiyo, these really are my stockings.】

 Both Ji Xiaoli and Milk Tea Small Crisp did not want to remain here any longer, but the reward prompt for the Chance Encounter did not pop up.

 【System】Gongsun da-niang: This maiden never deceives. For retrieving my hosiery, this one shall gift you a dance.

【Teacher Orders a Salute: ……】

【Milk Tea Small Crisp: ……】

Gong Sun da-niang put on her stockings and got to her feet. Her dispassionate eyes momentarily glowing with life. She looked up to the sky and let out an angry cry.

 “Come, sword!”

 A longsword of frosted green fell from the heavens, grasped by a hand as slender as jade.

 In a flash, Ji Xiaoli heard the humming of the sword as their surroundings morphed. The two were now in a pitch-black space. The bright moon akin to a silver disk, suspended in the air. A gorgeous sylphlike woman in a golden-red robe held a longsword, dancing under the luminescence of the moon. Her sword was drawn as swift as a bolt of lightning and sheathed like a dragon’s hum. Tassels from her headdress draped over the ivory, full forehead, and a golden veil concealed her face. Her eyes glinted a gallant spirit.

While dancing, she began to chant.

 “In a time long gone, there existed a ravishing beauty named Gongsun who incited emotions whenever she performed a sword dance.”

 “An audience like mountains lost among themselves. Heaven and Earth were also affected by her dance, as her frame swayed and undulated…”

 Ji Xiaoli stared awestruck at the beauty on screen. When the dance came to a close, Gongsun da-niang pierce the moon with a stab of her sword. When the luminous moon shattered, Ji Xiaoli and Milk Tea Small Crisp were returned to the crowded Bianjing City. A big, overweight lady in black stockings, carrying a longsword made of wood, shuffled away as she picked her nose.

 No one could tell that this figure had once been a beauty that had shocked Chang’an.

""

【System】In a time long gone, there existed a ravishing beauty named Gongsun who incited emotions whenever she performed a sword dance. Players ‘Teacher Orders a Salute’, and ‘Milk Tea Small Crisp’ have completed the encounter ‘To find Gongsun da-niang’s missing hosiery’, and received the exclusive title ‘A Single Sword Tilts The City’.

Ji Xiaoli’s mailbox was instantly chock-full of messages.

【Boss, where did you trigger the Chance Encounter?】

【Where is Gongsun da-niang?】

Ji Xiaoli hurriedly shut off the private messages he was receiving from strangers.

 【Teacher Orders a Salute: Disciple, we’re celebrities now… 】

【Milk Tea Small Crisp: I was already a celebrity, shifu, it’s your turn this time.】

Many players set off different Chance Encounters in a single morning, but Ji Xiaoli was the first person to trigger one with a title as a reward.

 Ji Xiaoli was also confused: 【So many people are asking me how I triggered the encounter. How would I know? We were just walking around when it set off.】

 Milk Tea Small Crisp did not speak, as if in silent contemplation.

 Ji Xiaoli began to lament: 【Gongsun da-niang was so beautiful back in the day. If I had known she was so attractive, I would have played the game on the computer. The phone screen is too small. It wasn’t visible at all. I didn’t even take a screen recording. By the way, did you take a screen recording?】

 Milk Tea Small Crisp:【I don’t know.】

 Ji Xiaoli was dumbfounded: 【What?】How would you not know whether or not you took a screen recording?

【Nothing.】

The duo searched for a while longer to no avail. They did not trigger a new Encounter.

Mrs. Ji knocked on the door. “Time to eat.”

 Ji Xiaoli decided to leave his avatar in the idle state. Milk Tea Small Crisp also chimed in: 【I’ll also be AFKing for a little while.】

 The teacher and disciple sat atop the snow-capped Forgetful Mountain. Ji Xiaoli went on ahead and nourished himself with a large lobster. When he returned, he was greeted by the sight of a blue-clad swordsman, and the white-robed Emei miserably collapsed in the slush, their bodies half-buried by the snow.

Ji Xiaoli stopped dead in his tracks, tabbing open his mailbox.

【System】You have been slain by Player ‘One Wet Hand’.

Ji Xiaoli was fuming. Getting slain while idle infuriated him a hundred times more than getting killed in a PK duel! Ji Xiaoli added ‘One Wet Hand’ to his hit list. He was about to revive himself when he saw a blood-red name pass by on his screen, indiscriminately killing the idle newcomer Wudang who was sitting around.

 It’s One Wet Hand!!!

 Without hesitation, the upstart Ji Xiaoli spent five yuan to resurrect on the spot, unsheathing his sword and slashed at the murderous Youquan assassin. One Wet Hand had not expected the corpse on the ground to start moving and lost one-third of his health in Ji Xiaoli’s attack. He then activated his cloaking ability. Ji Xiaoli was anxious as he tried to locate his invisible opponent. Suddenly, the Youquan assassin appeared behind him.

 The Huashan swordsman and Youquan assassin battled furiously in the snow.

 A minute later, Ji Xiaoli crumpled to the ground. One Wet Hand still had a quarter of his HP left.

 One Wet Hand consumed a potion and circled Ji Xiaoli’s body twice.

【Current】One Wet Hand: Almost scared the shit out of me. Tch, turned out to be some noob.

One Wet Hand, Youquan Sect, Level 145, cultivation 1W2.

Teacher Orders a Salute, Huashan Sect, Level 132, cultivation 1W4.

Although Youquan’s were counters to Huashan players, Ji Xiaoli had died just like that despite towering over his opponent by 2,000 cultivation points. One Wet Hand stepped on Ji Xiaoli’s face and jeered: 【Hey, rich noob. Are you going to revive and fight again?】

Ji Xiaoli was just about to consume another life pill to resurrect himself on the spot, when his opponents words froze him in place.

Suddenly, the System Announcement lit up on-screen.

【System】In a time long gone, there existed a ravishing beauty named Gongsun who incited emotions whenever she performed a sword dance. Player ‘YueJian ChunHe’, ‘Protect Our Meat Bun’, ‘I Am Meat Bun’, ‘Pin Seng Fa Hao Jie Se’ have completed the encounter ‘To find Gongsun da-niang’s missing hosiery’, and received the exclusive title ‘A Single Sword Tilts The City’.

Ji Xiaoli felt a tremor in his heart.

Cold snowflakes fluttered upon his cheek. The stiff corpse of his young disciple laid a distance away. He got a faceful of his enemy’s foul-smelling boots. He and his disciple were no longer the only people with the exclusive title now. His biggest rival, YueJian ChunHe, had also earned it.

Ji Xiaoli suddenly lost all his vigor. His technique was still so noob-ish, despite his disciple’s best efforts in guiding him. If Milk Tea Small Crisp used his account and went head-to-head with One Wet Hand, he would definitely be able to pound this opponent into a human stick.

Ji Xiaoli had given up on himself and had no intention of reviving to exact his revenge.

At that moment, not far away, the Emei in white got up from the ground. A multitude of colors gleamed, encompassing her frame; that was the exclusive effect when you resurrected via consuming a life pill.

A train of white silk hovered in the air, cinching itself onto the Youquan swordsman’s arm.

【Current】Milk Tea Small Crisp: You’re stepping on my shifu’s face.

Ji Xiaoli felt as though his heart was mercilessly grasped within a colossal fist. He stared grimly at the Emei, his blood boiling. He did not resurrect himself as he started to rage: 【Disciple, this bastard killed your shifu twice!!】

【Current】Milk Tea Small Crisp: …Twice?

Ji Xiaoli：“…”

Ahem, I will never acknowledge that I died a second time in a one-on-one battle.

【Current】Teacher Orders a Salute: Anyway, he killed us while we were AFKing. He even killed me twice!

【Current】Milk Tea Small Crisp: Oh, he can die then.