Why Do I Wake up as a Cheater Every Time?

Yan Yifan searched every corner of room 707 and finally noticed the open balcony door. When he came out, he saw that the distance between his balcony and the balcony next door was not too far.

The Diru Beast probably crawled from here.

As a standard noble gentleman, Yan Yifan didn’t want to do such a rude thing as climbing over from the balcony.

As a dying plush control, he rolled up his sleeves without saying a word and resolutely invaded the balcony next door. 

On the other side, Jing Xuan walked around the campus casually with a hairball in his clothes. 

Qin Yuyang laid on the strong firm muscles of the young man, his pink nose pressing onto the honey-colored skin, and every breath he took was full of strong masculinity.

He feels like fainting!

“What are you doing? Don’t move!” Jing Xuan felt the hairball on his stomach crawling up and wanting to come out of the neckline. He immediately lifted his palm and pressed it down.

He didn’t press too early, nor did he press too late. When Qin Yuyang had finally crawled up, he shamelessly pressed him back down, making Qin Yuyang feel very frustrated. 

He had pressed on his (Qin Yuyang’s) mouth! 

“Awoo…” Assaulting Teddy, being pinched on the eggs and squished, what else has he experienced today?

Qin Yuyang felt that he had no love for this world.

Jing Xuan walked to the registration office at the school gate and knocked on the door of the guard post, “I’m here to get a pet tag.”

“Huh?” The guard glanced at him, “Where is the pet?”

Only then did Jing Xuan stop pressing his palm on the hairball, he reached in through his neckline and grabbed the hairball out, “This one here.”

The guard glanced at the hairball, feeling that it was a little familiar, “Diru Beast?” It’s another Diru Beast with an overweight body.

Alas, the times have changed. Men are starting to raise Diru Beasts just like women. 

“Yes.” Jing Xuan pulled open his neckline and stuffed the hairball in once more. 

“What’s its name?” The guard asked.

“Do you want a name?” Jing Xuan raised his eyebrows, looking down at his bulging belly, and racked his brains to think, “Call it Xiao Di.” 

“Okay.” The guard rolled his eyes, it was another weirdly sounding name.

The boys of the Department of Martial Arts are really equipped with well-developed limbs and a simple mind. 

It was late after they got the pet’s tag.

Jing Xuan touched his stomach, feeling that he hadn’t eaten enough for dinner, so he moved to the cafeteria and packed a box of braised pork to eat.

The moment he opened the door to his room, Jing Xuan smelled an unfamiliar smell in his room. 

But the whole room was clear at a glance and no one else was seen inside.

This unfamiliar situation made Jing Xuan very irritable but the hairball on his stomach was moving a lot, eager to eat the braised pork. Hmm, forget it.

With a slam of the door, Jing Xuan grabbed his newly acquired pet from his neckline and put it on the table next to the braised pork.

Qin Yuyang didn’t care that he was placed down, he dived in head-first towards the stewed meat box and held it with his paws, waiting to be fed.

“Well, I know.” Jing Xuan opened the wooden box containing the stewed pork, and a fragrant smell immediately overflowed.

The furry paws reached in, hooked a piece, put it in his mouth, and started eating. 

The meat in this world is so delicious!

A young man who is obviously good-looking and has a good temperament, but just like the little hairball, he directly used his fingers to eat. 

Such rough men, Qin Yuyang can be said to like this type very much.

“Hahaha…” The reserved and elegant little handsome guy next door looks good, but he was too abnormal for his taste.

One person and one hairball ate until their hands were full of oil. 

“*Knock, Knock*” Someone knocked on the door of Room 708.

“Who?” Jing Xuan asked in surprise. Generally speaking, few people dared to knock on his door.

The person outside the door spoke in a standard aristocratic accent, “Hello classmate in Room 708, I am a classmate living in Room 707 next to you, have you seen my white pet?” 

Jing Xuan’s eyes shifted to the hairball who was eating braised pork on the table, but isn’t this his own pet?

“No.” He said without hesitation.

After dealing with the guy who was looking for his pet standing outside the door, Jing Xuan suddenly lost his appetite. He wiped his hands with a wet tissue, rummaged in his room, and found a ruby ribbon that had been used to tie his hair when he had long hair before. 

He strung the pet tag with the words ‘Xiao Di’ and his name written on it. 

Qin Yuyang sat on the tissue box and hugged the last piece of braised pork that he could eat and finally finished eating, “*Hiccup*” He burped contentedly, only to find that his paws were covered with oil and sauce. 

“Pull out your neck.” Jing Xuan looked left and right but didn’t see where the hairball’s neck was, only a piece of pink ribbon was exposed.

“…” Qin Yuyang looked at him faintly, Lao Tzu’s neck is like this. If he was not convinced, he could try to pull and see.

“Tsk, you rice bucket1.” Jing Xuan carefully found the ribbon trapped in the hair with his fingers, untied it first, and then tied the red ribbon he had used. 

Qin Yuyang looked down. Damn, gems?

His first thought was, ‘If this thing was hanging on his neck, will he be considered a thief?’

“Okay.” Jing Xuan cocked his mouth with satisfaction but then he caught sight of two dirty paws, and the corners of his mouth twitched suddenly, “You are not allowed to touch food with your paws in the future!” 

Because this Diru Beast will never wash his hands on his own. He has to serve this Diru Beast himself.

The most troublesome thing in the dormitory is that there is no separate bathroom in each room. If they wanted to take a bath or wash their hands, they could only go to the public bathroom on the first floor.

The hairball’s paws were so dirty that Jing Xuan couldn’t put him in his clothes, so he could only grab at the flesh on the back of the Diru Beast’s neck and prepare to take him to the first floor for cleaning. 

Before leaving the room, he carefully confirmed that there was no one outside, then opened the door and quickly sneaked down.

Qin Yuyang also didn’t make a sound for his own sake, because following 708, he could obviously eat meat and following 707, he might not be guaranteed to sleep well at night. 

When he came to the bathroom, Jing Xuan put the hairball on the sink, then turned on the faucet and took his paw to clean it. 

Adding some soap in between so that he could wash off the oil.

Jing Xuan didn’t want a pet with the smell of stewed meat on his bed.

After washing his paws, he leaned closer and sniffed the rest of the hairball. It seemed to not be very clean, with the smell of mud and grass.

“You smell so bad, I’ll have to give you a bath.” Jing Xuan rolled up his sleeves and said. 

Qin Yuyang hurriedly lowered his head and sniffed his paws and feet. Although there was a little smell, it was definitely not to the point of stinking!

There was a hot spring near the school. Hot water is provided to the student dormitory 24 hours a day. They just needed to turn on the faucet.

Jing Xuan filled the bathtub with water, threw in the hairball, undressed and took a bath.

Seeing such a good figure, Qin Yuyang was jealous and hated his own form. He didn’t dare to imagine what he would be like after he transformed. 

Looking down at his cute and stupid-looking self on the water, is this the legendary wolf clan?

If the Qin family really belonged to the wolf clan, then this idiot must be the product of the stupid Diru Beast next door.

Just when Qin Yuyang was in a trance, a huge beast rolled into the water.

Qin Yuyang turned his head to look, and his hair suddenly puffed up. Is this a dinosaur?

Jing Xuan had changed back into his original form, a red pterodactyl. 

His body is slender and huge, his tail dragged on the ground and slapped the water, his upper body almost occupied the entire bathtub. The only place Qin Yuyang could stay on was his neck. Except for the tip of his tail, his neck was the slenderest place in Jing Xuan’s body.

But Qin Yuyang was almost scared to death. This was a dinosaur, the legendary pterosaur. 

Jing Xuan turned around in the tub, his wings fluttering twice on the water.

This wave of water directly hit the hairball like a tsunami. 

It is in the nature of a pterosaur to love water. Although Jing Xuan is a pterosaur with fire attributes, his temper will be more violent if he doesn’t play in the water after a while.

At that time, why didn’t he hate this hairball that suddenly appeared? It might be because of the smell of water on this little guy.

After playing in the water, the pterodactyl finally remembered his pet.

He laid on his back in the bathtub, cocked his tail, and curled it around the hairball, sending it to his belly. 

The flexible tip of the tail scratched the chin of the hairball for a while and then scratched the back of the hairball, seemingly serving the pet in a serious way.

Excluding the initial tension from seeing a dinosaur, Qin Yuyang actually felt quite good.

He found that there was a slap-sized fleshy wing on the tail of the pterodactyl, which couldn’t be more comfortable for the body as a natural scrubbing artifact.

Knowing from the original owner’s memory, this world is like this, everyone has a prototype beast form.

The prototype of this young man who feeds him meat and hides other people’s pets is a pterosaur. 

“…” Qin Yuyang didn’t think about it much. It would be fine if their prototypes were changed, then it would be in line with Qin Yuyang’s style so he can finally stand with pride. 

It’s a pity that he is just a fat dumpling now, and his hair is still fluffy even after it gets wet. 

Not to mention, taking a bath after a full meal makes him sleepy. 

“Hello?” Jing Xuan looked at the dozing hairball holding his tail, “Are you a pig?”

“*Snore*…” 

After soaking for a while, Jing Xuan turned back into human form, washed the unwakeable hairball for the final time, wrapped it in a towel, and carefully released some fire elements through the towel to protect the pet and dry its fur.

“Pig.” Jing Xuan walked out of the bathroom holding the fragrant pet contentedly.

Looking up, he saw a face standing in front of him, looking straight into his arms.

“Excuse me, what are you holding in your arms?” Yan Yifan asked, without the intention of letting him go. 

“It’s nothing. Just a pig!” Jing Xuan avoided the sharp eyes of the other party, turned around holding the towel, and went up the stairs on the second floor.

“Sire, you look very guilty!” Yan Yifan caught up with him with a stride and the two met on the turntable in a narrow path. They fought instantly. 

The towel fell on the ground with a thud and rolled into two places, after dispersing, it revealed what was inside the towel.

Very good, it’s a fat Diru beast sleeping with its belly turned over, who is it if it’s not his own Fat Lulu!

“You stole my pet.” Yan Yifan strictly criticized the other party in a pragmatic manner. 

“Huh? What do you mean, Lao Tzu stole your pet?” Jing Xuan fought back, “It was obviously Xiao Di who chose me as his master!” 

“Shut up! What the hell is Xiao Di?” Yan Yifan said angrily, “His name is Fat Lulu. He is my pet. I hope you can get it in your head.” 

“He’s mine!” 

“Mine!” 

The third yard-mate in yard No. 7, Arnold, stepped in. Seeing his hot-tempered yard-mate from Room 708 fighting a guy with an unfamiliar face, he didn’t need to guess that he was the fourth yard-mate. 

But it doesn’t seem that their fight was going to end anytime soon. 

“You continue, don’t worry about me.” Arnold passed by with his luggage on his back and suddenly saw a pet lying on a towel next to the corner of the turntable. He bent over curiously, “What is this?”

The two of them who were engrossed in arguing turned around and yelled at him, “Stop!” 

The loud roars shocked Arnold and at the same time awakened the sleeping hairball. 

“*Hatchoo!*” Qin Yuyang felt cold on his belly, sat up, and sneezed. 

After a sneeze, his pair of round eyes appeared blue and moist, inlaid on that white fluffy face, making his expression very beautiful and charming.

Yan Yifan, as a certified plush control, rushed over immediately and hugged the hairball into his arms.

The feeling of finding something that was lost was very exciting but he was used to being reserved in front of others, “Okay, let’s go back.” 

“Hey–” A long shadow rushed over, raising his foot to block the entire staircase, and said, “You can go back. But this Young Master’s pet stays.” 

Yan Yifan frowned, “This is my pet.” Jing Xuan smiled wickedly, crossing his arms, “How do you prove that this is your pet?”

To the onlooker that was present, Arnold, although his relationship with Jing Xuan is just so-so as the guy had a bad temper but he thinks that Jing Xuan is right, “This classmate,” Arnold looked at Yan Yifan and said, “Whoever is right, there should be evidence. Just take it out.” 

“I picked up this pet outside of school today. It was registered at the guard at about 5 o’clock in the afternoon. The pet tag is called Fat Lulu, and the number is XXXX.” Yan Yifan said, regretting not immediately putting the tag on the hairball.

“What a coincidence. I didn’t pick up this pet but it came to my door by itself.” Jing Xuan pointed at Qin Yuyang’s neck, “Please look and see whose name is written on it.”

The smile on Yan Yifan’s face dropped. He found the pet tag on the hairball’s neck and saw that it was registered by Jing Xuan. This shameless person! 

Not only did Yan Yifan feel that Jing Xuan was shameless but even the hairball in Yan Yifan’s arms felt that this young man named Jing Xuan was incredibly shameless. 

But with his greedy mouth, Qin Yuyang ate the other person’s meat for two consecutive meals and was waited on to take a comfortable bath. What else could he do except keep silent? 

But he never expected that the person holding himself, who looks to be very strict and self-disciplined, would also be very shameless. 

“Oh?” Yan Yifan picked the ruby ribbon with his fingers and threw it directly on the other shameless person, “Now, you also have no evidence that this pet belongs to you.” 

Damn!

Not only Jing Xuan was stunned but the other two present were also shocked.

“You!” The red pterodactyl’s violent temper wasn’t just a rumor, so he rolled up his sleeves and got ready to fight.

Yan Yifan also wasn’t afraid, so he handed the pet to Arnold, who was standing on the side, “Classmate, please help me take care of it and return it to me once I am done, thank you.”

“You…” Arnold hadn’t finished speaking yet when the two classmates already started fighting again, “Hey! I’m not interested in looking after small animals at all!” 

The handsome, tall and mighty fighter with blond hair and blue eyes who was holding a small hairball was at a loss.

God, if he doesn’t help them take care of it, will he be killed?

Arnold’s prototype is a leopard and he believes that his prototype is more capable of taking care of this furry little thing.

So he threw down his luggage and changed back to his original slender and elegant body, covered with rose-shaped leopard print, very beautiful.

This was a leopard!

Qin Yuyang watched as the leopard opened his fangs and aimed his sharp mouth towards himself, then grabbed the soft flesh of his neck and jumped upstairs.

What kind of experience is it to sleep on the leopard’s belly?

Arnold was cautiously coaxing him to sleep. However, Qin Yuyang felt that he might be eaten at any time. 

How could he fall asleep in that environment?

“…” Qin Yuyang moved his body quietly, hoping to leave the leopard’s side.

“*Roar—*” Arnold just wanted to tell him, ‘Don’t crawl alone and sleep obediently.’ But with such a big paw pressing down, Qin Yuyang almost thought he was going to be eaten. 

Pterosaurs still feel imaginary and there was still no sense of reality if you haven’t seen them. 

But the leopard, the deadly hunter of the grasslands, has engraved real fear upon human bones. 

Arnold took back the little hairball that others had given to him to look after and put it under his armpit, so he wouldn’t run around. 

At the same time, he thought to himself that it was really hard to take care of children. 

Qin Yuyang noticed that this leopard had a docile character and seemed to have no malice towards him so he gradually became less afraid. 

Half an hour later, Arnold found that the little hairball was asleep and snoring beside him.

He felt a little sense of accomplishment but he wondered, ‘why is he so fat?’ 

The leopard carefully stood up from the little hairball’s side, shook the hair on his body, stretched and then left the room silently, going out to see if the two guys had finished their fight. 

After going out, he saw a pterosaur rushing viciously towards a huge silver wolf.

The mighty silver wolf not only didn’t dodge but instead roared back. 

The two beasts slammed into each other unobstructed, and became dizzy.

“Ah, these two idiots…” Arnold turned into his human form, stood on the stairs, and shouted, “Since the both of you are evenly matched, why not just use other methods to decide who keeps that pet.”

Indeed.

After fighting for more than half an hour, there was still no result.

“Bah!” Jing Xuan transformed back into his human form, raising his hand to wipe the blood from the corner of his mouth.

Of course, the other party was no better than him. His meticulously combed black hair was already messy and his cheeks were also scratched with two blood marks by his sharp claws.

“What’s the solution?” Yan Yifan looked up at Arnold, out of breath. 

At least this dorm-mate seems to be a sensible person.

“First of all, no matter which one of you gets that pet, it is impossible for you to live in the same yard without incident. Both of you have to be clear about this.” Arnold raised a finger, looking at them with his pair of brilliant and beautiful peach blossom eyes, “Secondly if you don’t want to move out of Dorm No. 7, I suggest you raise this pet together.”

“Raise together?” Yan Yifan and Jing Xuan said in unison, both of them frowned.

“No, it’s impossible.” The possessive plush control said, “Fat Lulu can only be my pet.” 

Jing Xuan was a step late and looked very annoyed, “I also think it’s impossible to raise it with this guy. Humph!” 

“There is another way.” Arnold raised his finger.

“What way?” The two looked at him.

“Divide that little hairball into two and the both of you can each take half, isn’t that alright?” Arnold blinked and said.

Yan Yifan and Jing Xuan both showed an unacceptable expression at the same time, “You…you are very poisonous…”

“If you continue to fight like this, it will die sooner or later because there is no one to look after it.” Arnold shrugged, feeling that his reminder was very pertinent, “Everyone is a student of the Department of Martial Arts. You guys can see each other when you look around. Are you willing to give up your pet to each other?”

It makes sense!

Yan Yifan looked at the rude pterodactyl next door. He felt that if this person had lost, he would surely not let his Fat Lulu go.

Jing Xuan thought so too. The smelly silver wolf looked like a sinister and cunning person. He didn’t believe that the other party would just watch him raise Xiao Di.

“Fine, I agree to raise it together.” Jing Xuan said with his arms folded. 

Arnold leaned on the railings and looked down at Yan Yifan, “What about you, new classmate?” 

“How to arrange the joint parenting method?” Yan Yifan asked rigorously.

“This is easy.” Arnold said, lifting his chin a bit, “1st – 3rd – 5th at 708, 2nd, 4th, 6th at… which room do you live in?” 

“707.”

“So it’s fixed, today seems to be Monday, right?” Jing Xuan smiled and passed by Yan Yifan, going to Arnold’s room to pick up his pet. 

“Who allowed you to go in?” Arnold looked at him. 

“Tsk, it’s really troublesome.” Jing Xuan stood at the door and said impatiently, “Hurry up and give me my pet.” 

Qin Yuyang woke up as soon as Arnold left. 

Hearing Jing Xuan’s voice at this time, he thought that it was this guy who had won the fight, so he ran out with his fat body. 

The look of the hairball flying towards him was really cute, Jing Xuan’s heart felt hot and there was a hint of anticipation in his heart that had never liked small animals. 

“Come on, let me feed you two more meals of meat.” 

“What? You are feeding a Diru Beast meat?” Yan Yifan’s angry voice scared Qin Yuyang, “This is a Diru Beast, a herbivore! Did you feed it with water in your brains?” 

He regrets agreeing to the proposal of co-parenting currently!

“What are you being so fierce about? Can’t you just feed it what it likes to eat?” Jing Xuan bent over to pick up the little hairball and kissed the corner of his dark mouth. The little hairball that stuck to him was really cute.

He quickly took out the ruby ribbon from his pocket and tied it to the pet without hesitation.

“I refuse to raise it with you. You don’t know how to keep pets.” Yan Yifan calmed down his anger, he didn’t want to scare his beloved hairball. The roar just now might have left the hairball with a cruel impression of him.

“Why are you like this?” Jing Xuan said with a sneer, “If you don’t want to, then I will raise it myself.” 

“You can try.” Yan Yifan also sneered.

“That…” Arnold pointed at the hairball with a dazed expression, “You said this is a Diru Beast?” 

Yan Yifan and Jing Xuan said in unison, “It’s a Diru Beast, is there a problem?” 

“…” This year’s pet owners really can’t be provoked, “Don’t you think that its size is somewhat different from a Diru Beast?” 

With all due respect, a Diru Beast’s body is long and slender. This one is almost round.

“Body size?” Yan Yifan and Jing Xuan said in unison, “It’s just a little fatter.” 

“…” Comparing the hairball on Jing Xuan’s shoulder with the palm of his hand, is it just a little fatter? Is there a problem with his eyes or other people’s eyes, “Anyways, it’s not a Diru Beast.” 

Whether they believe it or not, it’s up to them.

Translator note:

Man I don’t know how you guys can guess who is the ML. If I hadn’t finished skimming over the raws for this novel a year ago I wouldn’t even know. (Probably me being dumb) But still, how?

Editor Xin has finally lost to me. That old witch can’t beat me in the amount of novels read since I normally go read raws. The spells don’t work on me this time!!

Also I have a sudden craving for Mala Crayfish, Spicy sour fish, Corn cheese and Braised pork. There’s a really good restaurant near my eldest brother’s house called Old Captain (Like first time we went there I was like, why we going into someone’s house? Cuz it was really in an inconspicuous corner), located in Quezon City Manila. Really nice spicy seafood there. When I visited the Philippines my brother used to bring me there. The spot for Corn Cheese is probably Crisostomo (? I don’t remember well… been like 2 years since I last went there).

Also a few days ago I got a Welkin for my friend on Genshin, I forgot about it. Then yesterday I was going to top up my own account to prepare for Itto. Me forgot I put my friend’s UID on the topping up page. Almost gave her my 81 pulls HAHAH. Until I noticed hey, my UID doesn’t start with 71, it starts with 70. My heart almost dropped, thankfully I noticed.

Fat/useless good for nothing